in a silent way these thoughts show up without an invitation. some of them are easy enough to ignore. they knock a few times and leave.

others don't respond so well to being ignored. they try to kick the door down. when that doesn't work, they break a window and climb through, painting the floor with blood and glass, dragging themselves toward me with some kind of terrible inevitable understanding burning in their eyes.

and after i've stared into those eyes long enough, they reveal themselves to be something much more dangerous and tangible.

serpent's teeth. that's what they are. fucking my skull to get at the guts inside. mashing them into juice. sloshing it around. sucking out the marrow that remains with a hideous slurping sound. grinning with no facial structure to support the movement, leaving the would-be smile an angle in absentia. no cavities. no calcium. never yellowed by time or worn away by use. they're as perfect as the day they grew into that nothing-space. that nothing-mouth. that cavernous entrail.

they could at least call ahead once in a while, to let me know they're stopping by.
unhinged like the way he used to ring my bell at 4am
the battered_woman_syndrome he gave me only now apparent to what depths it sunk while i wasn't looking

he conditioned me to expect lies and silence and manipulation. i can't believe others' intentions are good. too many times the opposite proved to be true.

i get so suspicious when we aren't together. what you could be doing with who. it's making me crazy. but it doesn't seem fair to take that crazy out on you.
what's it to you?
who go