deb it is unfair of me, i know,
to long for one and love another
but how do i do this
while avoiding the imminent hurt i will
strike in someone's heart?
there is a way
-but it hurts too much-
i must bare my heart,
show my soul to the onlookers,
and razorblade my way
to pain
but eventual happiness -?

-i must sever the cord
beating still
between his heart and mine-
but i feel i smother his memory
with the very thought

the last thing i want to do
is hurt him
(either one, but the one i set free, mostly)

what will become of me,
i wonder,
without his lifeline pumping spirit
within me?
i stand, trembling, razor poised; reluctant
kaskarkaminski don't do anything you can't regret later. Make your choice and be done with it...who knows? you may find someone can get over you rather easily, and all your fears were for nothing. don't make romeo's mistake. 000803
birdmad this razorblade dream that runs circles in my head, scoring the wall of sleep
perforating my will

cut me away from the conscious world

set me free to spiral deep
within the cell of my heart

lashed to
lacerated by
impaled upon
this cross of my own device (my own design - my own desire)

take this
all of you and drink
this is the cup of my blood
the water into wine
shed for all the lovers
for the dreamers

parody of a messiah
eyes to heaven
am i in pain?

or in ecstasy?
startfires snip away and sever this umbillical residue 001003
what's it to you?
who go