__tessellation__ red ribbon tessellation _tessellation_ tessellation/part three two people mourned his loss and that was a girl and a boy. they cried many stinging tears of painful interest. they remembered him like one remembers a really good dream, waking to a pleasure so succinct getting out of bed becomes a struggle for the urge to sleep again and relive the wonder is the only desire, as if the sun had returned after days of heavy clouds and rain is falling still, flowing into swollen streams and churning rivers threatening to flood the saturated earth, all the way to the accepting sea. these were their thoughts of him. teardrops in the ocean. they had known the man and imagined a father. they stepped to the hole in the sky that he had made. the boy instinctively pulled it open and the girl wriggled inside. the boy followed. they were not afraid because they were curious. they were confident because he inspired them. they wanted to be like him. someday when they fell in love and had children of their own they could show them his secret: you are art for the world to behold. the girl thought about him, secretly wishing she could be one of his daughters left behind, hoping that the effort of trying to find him would gain her acknowledgment and recognition. maybe a hug? a compliment? a picture he drew and gave to her? a talking puppet on his hand? the boy remembered stories he told when stuffed animals added their take. he wanted another one. he wanted to know what would happen next. they blinked in the new light and thought about the apparent wonder in his eyes. he could animate anything in the simple span of breathing. it was the way he lifted his eyebrows when he spoke. how he smiled so easily, as if his soul was full of baby birds ready to fly and sing this uncomplicated message to the growing, waiting, world forming all around him, roots beneath, leaves above: observe yourself observing. he could find treasure anywhere, the girl thought, even where it isn't. he can experience adventure simply from walking one place to another. to the boy, he realized that the realization of the moment was part of the secret meaning to existence, yet not completely. so they went in. they were sad he was gone and they had something they wanted to give him, for the absence of love leaves one empty and wanting filled. "if we draw a circle," the girl said, "unless we bring the line to meet its origin it'll be forever lacking." they had their treasure boxes, holding it under their arms like a small dog. they received them when they turned three. they weren't empty. it would be their first memory. a time of fullness to overflowing. when gifts were just forming and life was moving through rich, dark soil. when they entered his new world, they found it much like thier own, discovering three paths to choose. each one clearly marked by a sign. 140429 ... red ribbon the first one read:INDIVIDUAL the second one read:COMPANION the third one read:COMMUNITY they looked at each other with questioning eyes. an unmarked fourth trail existed, yet to gain entrance one was required to descend a cliff so steep, fear could not manifest itself. they knew without recognizing each other's intuition that this was the path he chose. they selected it as well, jumping off with abandon. while they were flying in the air, they were not birds. they hit the ground hard and hurt themselves. we are not hurt they told themselves. they bled bright red and awkwardly limped. pain became an irritating nuisance like a mosquito that must be quickly killed before it sucks. made up, silly songs and innocent happiness soothed them. they wrapped their wounds in casual laughter and their bodies magically healed. they didn't look for him because they found gifts he left for them. handmade treasure they gathered and placed delicately in their boxes. each one was unique and shining with intricate thought. the breath caught in their throat and released like colorful balloons into the sky. what the girl found she gave to the boy and the boy gave the girl what he found until what they had was theirs. they contained his world. 140430 ... red ribbon they heard sounds in the air and turned their faces to the clouds. "is that him?" the boy asked. she copied the noise. "it could be him." they saw ripples move across the stillness of a pond. one ring at a time until they reached the shore. "see what he's done?" the girl said. they inhaled flowers until they were drunk on the fragrance of the petals sticking to their lips. "he has danced here!" the boy shouted. hunger was filled with the knowledge he taught them. we can eat this, they said. we cannot eat that. it tasted like the sun had cooked it. they built a house of sticks and filled it with sweet grass. just like he used to do. they played, pretending they were him. easy smiles. they peeked through the cracks and spied on careful deer with tails like handkerchiefs. they hushed with breath that smelled of peppermint. 140501 ... red ribbon they told each other stories he once told, about the elephant who was good, then bad, then good again. "do the weird voice," the boy urged. also the one about the princess who fell into the water. the boy played the fishes who took her captive. the girl took the busy queen part. turned out love was the only ransom. the fish would not accept any other treasure. the queen's mournful tears in the water did the trick. darkness fell like the stage curtain. sleep arrived with the whispers of the day's end. "we'll find him tomorrow?" the boy asked. "we will." the boy dreamt the man was grunting, pulling the sun down with a rope. it was so heavy but the day had to end. the strength was relentless. the girl dreamt she was with him, squeezing drops of juice from a lemon into a glass. each slow sip said the day was done, beginning to end. it began barely audible, perhaps the smallest of living creatures could hear the low utterance. a vibration that grew until it was a murmur. there was a swelling of sound that increased, as if the earth was opening its lips and from the depths of its lungs a rumble was beginning. it surged, rising as dew upon every blade of grass, buzzing, ringing, escalating, breaking something that was holding it back. it was free. when the girl heard it, she stirred, opening her eyes to see the boy already sitting up. the sound had become the harmony of human voice. every person in the entire world bringing forth the internal cry of their individual soul, all of them releasing their shout of existence. light was a fond memory that returned, replacing the old, tired one. a blinking eye that reflected the permissive suggestion of awareness. silence became the new exultation, an inside out rendering of a lost concept. "find me," was written in the sunrise. "i am everywhere." the boy and girl stretched, leaving their moment of comfort, abandoning themselves, and feather-stepped to where they knew he was waiting. 140502 ... red ribbon the boy saw him first. he had climbed a tree. he was singing. it was a song the boy knew because he had heard it before. the boy pointed up. the girl smiled. she mouthed the words without effort. they came from her like involuntary breath. the countless verses she knew by heart. when the song ended, he leaped out. it was here they discovered he was wearing a bird costume."i can't fly," he said. "it's just for show." "how did you not hurt yourself?" the girl asked. she reached and touched his yellow beak. "i hurt myself," he said. "pain is your friend." "i want to be a bird also!" the boy said, lifting his arms left then right, flying in place. "i will make you a bird," he said. "follow me." "where do you live?" the girl asked. she hoped he had a cardinal costume. "where?" he returned. "the better question is, how do you live?" they followed him like water, gaining strength as it moves, creating its own power though accumulation, taking the path of least resistance. he taught them a new language. there were a hundred different ways to say happiness. the word for hate made the the teeth cut the tongue. with aggressive permissiveness, they asked for his stories. when he told them the old ones they already knew, he simply made new ones up. he used voices like paint, dabbing strange colors to mark visions on the blank canvas of their curiosity. their laughter rang. eyes as suns. he listened to their honest attempts at creating fairy tales, his words dancing from their lips. we are each other, he thought, all of us. 140503 ... red ribbon "are we going anywhere?" the girl asked. she was ready for the next thing. "everything is going," he said. "even blood flows like a river." they moved together up a grassy slope. dandelions roared yellow. bees sang. the boy pointed to a triangle at the top. "is that your house?" when they ascended, clouds formed images that each one identified but couldn't name the other's the same unique way. "do you see it?" "no." what was supposed as a house turned out to be a sculpture with a wooden ladder. "let's climb up!' the boy yelled. confidence dissolved fear. "careful. there's a missing rung." he said. they ascended hand over hand successful. when they reached the pinnacle, he urged them to jump. arms out they obeyed, falling like the first leaves of autumn, still full of color, spiraling to the ground slightly heavier than air, safe. on his turn, he didn't remember the missing rung. he reached and nothing was there. tumbling backwards, he hit the ground, stone into water. they found him unconscious. "are you hurt?" they cried. he woke like someone dreaming in a minor key. he was hurt. "i am not hurt." he said. he limped like one searching for something he lost. "what is missing?" the girl asked him?" he winced. "we all want to go back in the womb." "is that where we are going?" the boy asked. "we are being who we are," he answered. "is it the same thing?" the girl asked. "it is growth." 140504 ... red ribbon they came to a gnarled fruit tree, unpruned and wild. there was one rotten fruit. "should i eat it?" he asked the girl. "no," she said. he turned to the boy. "should i eat it?" he asked. "why would you want to?" the boy returned. "it is not edible. it will make you sick." "what if it's the only food i have?" he asked them both, holding his belly as if he was starving. "then you must eat to live," they agreed. he brought the rotting fruit to his lips, inhaled. "it smells like sweat," he said, narrowing his eyes. it glistened. he bit. "disgusting." he was ill to his gut. he vomited a spew of filth. he was nauseous for days, stumbling in incoherency. he wrote scribbles of toxic revolt. "i guess no one's perfect," the girl said, hugging him. "everyone fails sometimes," the boy said, holding his hand. he smiled, satisfied. "i have made a mistake," he said. "it will change the way i live. it has made me disappear." the boy looked over at the girl. he was gone. 140505 ... red ribbon ___tessellation___ 140506 what's it to you? who go blather from