genuine_heart_of_sadness unhinged i felt my heart relax the first time i heard/read that chapter in the sacred_path_of_the_warrior the relaxation came from intellectually realizing something my heart had always known since i was small enough to remember. something that many people had told me i should change or fix. maybe i was always too dutiful a child, but it felt nice to have permission to feel the rawness of my own heart, that there was nothing wrong with that. that in fact that is the way we all are, the way we are supposed to be. the suffering of this world sucks balls but at least i am in a position to recognize_and_release 111025 ... unhinged . he told me i could show him my genuine sadness but what he didnt realize is that our trust was already too broken for that 130926 ... leadx I wanted to say please, stop, yes, no further For I have been waiting a long time 130928 ... unhinged . (he also said months later that talking to me was depressing. funny how most people change their tune based on the way the wind blows. mantra_of_the_year even in the midst of this bullshit way deep inside i_am_still ) 140527 ... unhinged oh helene, my heart weeps for you honey. i lived in the lingering shadow of suicide of people i loved too. when it finally happens, there is some element of selfish relief mixed with the gut_wrenching. you will wear her clothes for a long time. a piece of your heart will always ache. a piece of you will breathe easier knowing she isnt suffering anymore. my heart weeps for you 140706 ... unhinged needed_reminder 170507 what's it to you? who go blather from