ahab
heart/felt/superego captain
leads them on(wards)
unattainable
merman
minstrel
your prey stalks you
120207
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heartfeltsuperego give_up the fight? But you misunderstand.

I never fought for you White Whale.
I compared myself to you instead.
I was only a sleuth, your stalker, thief of your sounds; since you asked if I would look you in the eye.

And when I looked it was for you to see. I thought you looked into the lens for me too. That was our reciprocity. Imitation of intimacy.

Maybe you noticed. (I hope you did because that would mean you were stalking me too)
I would have been delightfully disturbed. Disturbingly delighted.

You are not a kind man White Whale, your actions lead me to think, in spite of which I still would have liked to rain my love shrapnel on you, embed it into you.
(Love shrapnel - that doesn't sound like a nice experience. Seems like a hurting kind of love.)

We are capable of tender, nurturing love;

White whale, your sights have eluded me. I am no longer after your trail, after you I won't set sail.
Now that you're a ghost, your call from the corner where all the ghosts of unspoken thoughts gather in the room where I sleep seems fainter as days pass. The time moves along. Days cycle short and long.
In time the wind will sweep over the places where I keep the thoughts of you that never became language.
Maybe in time your ghost will slip through the window, away from my living floor; memory of you will fizzle, I won't be Ahab anymore.


White Whale, I don't know if I will ever write a story about you.
120307
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firecub3 ignore 120307
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heart/felt d'accord 120307
...
a clever disguise The Great White Whale

Awesome album from Secret & Whisper.
120605
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