i_cried_again misstree my friend looked over, and i knew that he wished there were something he could do. "Tree, you have such a big heart... the biggest heart out of anyone I've ever known... the problem is, when things are good, they're really good, and when they're bad, they're really really bad." a bitter smile played. "yeah, blessing and curse," i answered, my voice shaking a little less now. "lived with it all my life. but it still really sucks sometimes." "so what are you going to do?" "i can't leave him." "but if he makes you cry as often as you say..." "yeah, but it's not just one big problem. most of the time it's nobody's fault. and that makes it worse. if it were one big problem i would know what to do, how to react. but this is like being attacked by a mountain of gerbils." "yeah. gerbils bite hard." i nodded. "and swatting one just makes room for another." "but if he makes you cry like this a lot..." "no. i won't leave him. not right now. a month, maybe." i know how much it hurt him to see me crying, only the second time in years of knowing eachother. but all the hurt, frustration, hopelessness and disappointment wouldn't behave and sit in their boxes. i still don't know what i'm going to do. i still don't know what i'm doing. 030723 what's it to you? who go blather from