deardiary megan i miss him terribly that's about it oh yeah... and it rained all day. 030502 ... joda Dear Diary. Is it true? Do I care? Honestly... 030502 ... jayne today i was a pompus arse and my sister was insane 070119 ... Christ without the cross I decided that lying would be the best way to avoid confrontation. The truth is sex is all she can offer me because because the rest of our relationship is like flat soda, at least to me. might as well use you for physical gratification, I think without having real concrete thoughts. My friendship with him is stagnant and non-existant. it is a force of habit that calls me to still call him my BEST friend. It would be too much work to think about all the things that could make me upset and the reward of that labor would just depression, and though it is sometimes welcomed, I no longer have a taste for it. So though my life has given me insufficient funds as far as love goes I guess I can stifle the vomit of disappointment and let the taste remain in my mouth for a while because a peculiar peace has come over me. i think that i am finally letting go and my inner voice seems clearer that ever. Things are strange but I guess it will all connect as everything does and I will be ridiculously different to the world. This will of course be on purpose but also very natural. I think that's it. 070119 what's it to you? who go blather from