whats_the_use_in_trying Bizzar Im standing here powerless to everything thats slipping through my fingers right in front of my eyes: the one person who can make me happy, my friends, my sanity. Everything. Once I let something become important to me, it dies. Everytime I put an effort into something that means alot to me, it dies. I cant keep on trying just to be let down. Its ripping me apart. Im letting everything get in the way of everything else. Its a deadly endless circle, and Im choking on it. Call me weak... call me whatever the fuck you want. I am weak. I am everything youre probably thinking right now. I cant handle this. I dont want to try anymore. I want to lay down and give up, because there is no point in trying. Nothing I do is good enough. I have nothing. I have no one to run to, even he refuses to look at me when Im crying. Not even he can handle me. Whats left? I wash my hands of it all. If I dont have expectations, I cant be let down. Im tired of disappointing myself. Im tired of failing. And you cant fail if you dont try. And you know what, you might say you cant succeed if u dont try, well, I never seem to succeed anyway. So its just not worth it. It didnt used to be this hard. 030428 ... unhinged aversion it was obvious you had better things to be doing 130911 ... unhinged dating ugh the whole 'you'll do for now' attitude doesn't make me want to open up, be vulnerable. i had my uses. the novelty wore off. somehow a friendship should rise from those ashes. should go to the cat adoption center 140118 ... unhinged ? 180501 what's it to you? who go blather from