squint is insane another shaky anxiety attack
and i tried to dial your number
with my fingers
as hard as they could
on those tiny glowing digits,
so they would travel straight to your voice
and you would sing to me
in your "hello?"
and all would be placid and sweet.
And in this panicked blur
of rushing rings
I told myself "this is stupid"
"he will hate you"
and i almost went into shock
just a jagged body
stiff with unimaginable fear and sorrow
still sobbing from frozen lips
short breaths
into the dial tone
screaming under white sheets
must i be this way.
I was shaking against the broken glass
and sewing machines were forcing my skins together
and i could not get out
from this claustrophobic kingdom,
i could not escape
in the boundless echoes of your
sweet hello
because your brother
answered the phone.
phil(oso)fee In looking at it from an exterior view, you see these feelings arise from a person rejecting them selves.
You find that a person, is not in "fear of rejection", but suffereing from the anxiety and sorrow of rejection of themselves.
We must learn to get past these negative thoughts, to allow ourselves more time to overcome the fear of that other person.
purpleismycolor and just how do we do that [learn to get past...], dr.phil? [truly inquistive in a blathery sense] 020521
squint is insane well duh.

i hate me
and you
and you
and you
forever on!!!!
meow kickstop!
what's it to you?
who go