sorespot unhinged and i poke it knowing it will hurt can't leave it alone can't let it heal i've always picked off the scabs hoping they would rebleed a lot bit masochistic some would say but as cliche as trent made it sometimes pain's the only way i feel alive being awake is a sorespot i poke at everyday when i'd really just like to hibernate my life away i wish i was a good enough reason to get up in the morning but i've always been lacking internal motivation and when no one else will i divide myself in two the parts i want rid of the parts i love soaking up the dark soaking up my own dark when no one else will cause of course if i don't do it who will? i've got a sorespot with your name written all over it i poke to remind myself i'm still alive sometimes 080202 ... unhinged . can't wait to get home and reduce my hug_deficit 101217 ... unhinged (maybe i was a little melodramatic back then) . 140804 ... unhinged the photographic_memory of how you pushed me away still hurts 140830 ... flowerock it hurt just to read your words. every memory of being pushed away flooded back over me. family, friends, lovers, myself... the feeling of neglect and inadequacy, being unwanted, unloved, undeserving, embarrassed, ashamed. 140830 ... unhinged (my heart is a gaping wound today) nude - radiohead 141018 ... unhinged poke poke genuine_heart_of_sadness 160419 what's it to you? who go blather from