crying_today n o m i feel very sad sometimes, even though i wake up smiling 110528 ... . daddy issues surface 120211 ... ee nicole i didn't cry today. but fuck, i want to. kind of pointless though. it won't help anything, that's what you always say. but that's because you don't cry. at all. because you don't have any emotions. at all. and you don't understand love. at all. one day though, you'll realize that you made the biggest mistake of your charmed life. 120212 ... heart/felt purge. The lie = me they all lied to me like the Truman Show it is painful and sad to recall and think about my influences. My mother is a liar. Her father was murdered. But before that happened, she didn’t even give me the opportunity to know my own dad. Her pain is comparable to mine in my eyes, but mine is a hole and hers is a stone. 120213 ... heart/felt she continues to lie to this day. her motives unknown. hard to glean truth from a known liar. 120213 ... unhinged walking to the busstop after shambhala class just hearing your_voice again fucking hurts how exactly would you make amends for that? 120213 ... heart/felt not today. i have no clue how to make amends for that. ...just try to forget about it I guess; though it is uncertain if I can ever forget. I am not capable of forgiving. hey superego, get fucked today. I don't feel you. 120307 what's it to you? who go blather from