Mahayana self_destruction
standing in a mirrors gaze
Sailor Jupiter Only a cruel fool would do as I have done.
In my ignorance I have destroyed what I loved.
I have secretly smothered the child I nursed for years.
Why would I do such a thing?
Why throw myself in a pit of misery?
Why drag you down with me?
Who knows...
silentbob i'll pluck your angel wings 020424
-{::EphemeralArcs::}- and as you fell, i couldn't help but gesture a hand in front of my face, to hide the creeping smile. 020424
sabbie three days ago
i caught a spider
in a glass spice jar
"its for art,"
i thought to myself
"its all ok if its for art"

two days ago
it spun a lonely web
from the stopper
to the bottom
and back up
weaving slowly down
weaving slowly back up
giving me a last gift of beauty
as i slowly murdered it.

a day ago
i still could have rescued it
i still could have let it go
but i needed it, i told myself
i need it for my art.

today i went to check on it.
today a spider died
gently forgiving to the end
and i repeat in my head
"its for my art,
its ok, it was for my art"

today i am overwhelmed by sadness.
today i cant change the fact
i murdered something
for my art.
unhinged no wait

that's you

not me
misstree we all consume
but to give a thing a beautiful ending,
that is a gift
that nature alone does not grant.
unhinged i WAS mean to you

but i don't think we
want to make lists
unhinged (all i wanted to do was help your wings grow
help you fly

i scared you
you numbed me

i made some mistakes
but all i wanted to do was
help you fly)
what's it to you?
who go