im_a_vindictive_bastard stork daddy i still have much journeying to do before i'm who i want to be. case in point...today i was training jiujitsu, and the match went standing for a moment. i am a much better wrestler than the person i was training with...but he is a very intense person and also just came in and so was fresh whereas the rest of us had been conditioning for an hour (i had also done wrestling practice before i went to jiujitsu) and so was able to sweep me quite viciously, taking everything he could from a moment of control when in all likelyhood he could have maintained control just the same with a more gradual descent to the ground. anyways, i calmly continue to spar with him and onlookers must've thought wow, what a calm person, totally unruffled by another's passion. but then we ended up on our feet again, and when i got the chance i picked him up! my original plan was to put him over my shoulder in a double leg and let him down slowly to show that one doesn't always have to take every moment of control to every of its implications, but he scrambled and got into guard so i thought, screw it, he's still vulnerable whether he knows it or not and I jumped high and slammed him, and he landed considerably harder than I did. I guess i can rationalize this and say that while an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, people who don't deter others from taking their eyes may themselves end up blind, really i was fine and could've made my point in a more peaceable manner but was taken off the righteous path by my pride. buddha christ forgive me. 031022 ... stork daddy it also teaches me not to underestimate others or overestimate myself. 031022 what's it to you? who go blather from