a_story babybat i let them walk all over me. anything to keep them. anything to have them stay. i try my best not to make them mad, i'm quiet if they're talking and i smile if they're sad. they can do anything to hurt me, to cut me, to tear me apart, but as long as they say they love me, i want them to stay. he told me he'd never forgive me if i kept this up, and he's never forgiven me. he sits back and watches me get thrown around and controlled. he's realized there's nothing more he can do. i understand how he feels but i need that person to love me. what i didn't realize until now is that he's been there for me the whole time, that he's in love with me. and i've discarded him, ignored him, shunned him, anything to make them happy. he threatens to never look at me again but there he is in the shadows, continually watching over me, watching me get hurt. he bleeds everytime one of my tears fall, and still i haven't run to him. i can't understand how someone could care about me and love me that much, and not want anything in return but for me to love back. i can't understand why he would want me and not someone else. i can't understand why he hasn't hurt me like i've hurt him. it's all so foreign to me. his patience is overwhelming. i always thought he cared about me like a sister but i've come to understand it's more than that. and yet, i walk away from him, and let myself get hurt, because i need this one, not him. i need the one who will hurt me, because i think that is the only way someone can love me. 001226 ... "A" Man Like, wow! 071214 what's it to you? who go blather from