i_miss_san_francisco jane i don't miss california. i miss san_francisco. i miss the drive. the drive i took so lightly when really it weighed upon my chest & my feet, reminding & motivating me to give the car gas. i miss my car. it's funny, but i do. a car gives you freedom. now it's subways & cabs & mostly walking. but one of these days i'm going to run out of patience or money or energy. i miss san_francisco. i miss love. i miss my clairvoyance. now i can't prepare for anything. now i'm caught blindsided, out of control, spinning, spinning, & i can't stop because something could happen any second that maybe i wouldn't want to miss. i miss looking out a window & seeing trees. now i see another window. i miss reality. i miss knowing that i was safe. i miss security. i miss response. i feel alone. 030830 ... stork daddy if you felt secure, you weren't really taking much from san francisco. don't be so timid with new york 030830 ... jane i didn't necessarily feel secure in the city...it was what was there that counted 030904 ... celestias shadow oh man, i loved san francisco. so great. and the streets were so STRAIGHT! for a girl from boston, this was a revelation. streets around here go in circles and backwards, fur' chrissakes! 031102 what's it to you? who go blather from