EECP I guess Alzheimer's would not be so bad. Seeing as how remembrance is what seems to damage me so.

I think that even if I didn't remember you I would still miss you. I think that the part of me that is incomplete would bite me the way it does now.

It would lash out and leave me dying in the gutter. I would beg for help, and I would find it. Sadly, I would know that the help I found could not truly fix what has been broken.

Then I would be left again with only my memory. The memories of the parts without the complications of the situation. They existed in, but without being affected by, the situation.

Such wonderful memories if only the "OUCH!" would ware through soon. Oh well, I suppose now I don't deserve good memories.

After all, I do so enjoy pain.
anno_salutis the sudden gush
from corners once silent
a pipe bursts and a steady
unseen pulsing becomes
a jagged stream

his hands, once ruddy
are whiter now,
you suddenly recall
them pushing poker chips
across a makeshift table
as he bit a cigar
and said "all in."

the dust that doesn't float
upward from the sudden disturbance
becomes mired in liquid,
everything settles
everything moves on.
what's it to you?
who go