redtree_innerviews_ouroboros redTree what are the top five events of your life this year? 081209 ... Ouroboros Since for me, the new year begins when the man burns out on the playa in good old Black Rock City, NV, I have only the last couple of months to look back on. Not to say that nothing much has happened, because so much has happened. Top Five Events This Year Thus Far for Ouroboros: 1. Standing Up for Myself. This year I found myself in situations where I was being taken advantage of, or where I was not getting what I needed, and so I stood up for myself. I found myself, not on the road to San Francisco to party with friends on Halloween, but locked in a storage unit with a guy in Santa Barbara, all because I was being too nice and offered to help him out- I realized that I was being taken advantage of- so kicked the guy out of my car and had a fabulous solo drive up to and trip in SF anyway. When my boyfriend of two years left me yearning for sex and conversation (again), I knew it was time to break up. I am moving out of my apartment because of the ridiculousness of my roommate's rules for living here. etc. 2. Spending Time Outdoors. I have had the pleasure of being in beautiful places this year. LA is dreadful, except for it's proximity to nature. I have danced under the moonlight out in the Mojave. I have soaked my bones in hot springs out in the desert. I have looked upon strange forests of Joshua Trees. I have camped underneath the stars. I have hiked in a crater. I have explored Death Valley. It's been wild. 3.Spending time with Mike I have been spending most of my free time this year with Mike. If loved ones are but mirrors of ourselves, then I am a beautiful, grounded, intelligent, silly, easy going, passionate human. We are two people sharing the same space, enjoying each other's company, creating a relationship based on trust, communication, love, and a zero interest in bullshit. Right now he is snoring on my bed. 4. Appreciating my Friends. The phone calls and emails between my friends and I has only reconfirmed my belief that a life without friends is no life at all. I am so deeply grateful for Bea, Anna, and James. They have kept me sane and out of the blackness this year. I can only hope I have given them what they have given me. 5. Appreciating Myself/Who is That Hot Babe in the Mirror? I am more aware, this year, that I am alive, and I am uniquely me, and all of me is beautiful, because all life is beautiful. It has been easy to see my faults and shadows, but this year I see myself better, I have a better understanding of what gifts I do have, and I am excited to (hopefully someday) have a job that lets me use them. Not that I'm perfect or an angel, but I am compassionate, caring, empathetic, smart, beautiful, funny, honest, and true to myself! Yay me. 081209 ... redTree thanks so much for your response. your honesty is inspiring and refreshing...i'm jealous you've been to burning man. i have long wished to attend and can only experience it vicariously through our redskite brother ever_dumbening, dvds, and blogs. any stories concerning your experiences would be truly appreciated...although i lived in california for ten years and can share your love for its natural beauty... i loved what you said in #4, "appreciating my friends." i can relate perfectly to this, especially when you say, "they have kept me sane and out of the blackness." define your blackness and what have they given you to keep you out of it? 081210 ... rt in your post sleep_and_dream you eloquently stated... "-the spider webs woven into the cracking fractures of polarities-" please expound. 100325 ... Ouroboros hi rt- there's this vision i get now sometimes when i meditate- it's really intense- charged- scary- it is as i described, black thick spider webs that are the container and the cause of everything cracking and breaking- all i can see is this space, cracking, the solid forms breaking up, allowing the darkness that should be kept in it's place (not here) to come out and this blackness coming through, that become the spider webs (or always were spider webs) is breaking the natural order of things, of opposites, like piercing the wall between the white and dark in the yin and yang symbol, allowing the colors/energies to bleed together. I've had visions similar to this before, usually while falling asleep, of polarities blending, but usually it's this sense of everything being huge, then everything being tiny, back and forth rapidly. 100325 ... Ouroboros I don't know if I am grounded enough right now to be a container to view what happens when the darkness breaks through... 100325 ... rt in the post i_want_to_be_fire you urged us to "balance the elements." how do you do this? 100327 ... Ouroboros I don't. Not very well. Which is why I am where I am right now- stuck, stuck energy, anxiety, etc. I'm learning though about balance, what results occur sometimes long after the original action. I'm also open to learning and open to advice. 100405 ... rt and so i came up with a little lesson plan for you...ouroboros... BALANCING THE ELEMENTS A. EARTH i winded my way along snake-curved ribbon roads and stopped by my cousin charlie's garden that we built together. i planted 100_red_tulips. (by the way, notice how i'm playing the red game of "nail the title!") he invited me for a tulip party. so we tossed ourselves into a river and we both are good swimmers. i asked him about balancing the elements...he told me to take each one of them one by one, identify them, and then define their effect and purpose. be all inclusive he said. so we started with the first one earth and that was easy. we need the earth for a sense of place for every person is an earthling, no matter what race, creed, or beliefs. life is earth. it is made up of particles of earth. each one goes together to form the whole. we need the earth's rich soil to grow our food and the food we give too our animals. the earth gives continuously and thus becomes god. this way self is second. others become third. 100406 ... keroooowl i lost at nail the title and used "too" incorrectly. should read "to". 100406 ... Ouroboros "be all inclusive." yes. what ken wilber talks about- be able to incorporate as many differing perspectives as you can, and be able to hold the paradox of seemingly opposite things. this whole response brought me a bit of joy 100423 what's it to you? who go blather from