hexinating Tender Languors "Did you enjoy the theatre yesterday evening?" "Darling, it was hexinating. The leading actress had a harpy's voice, and claws to match. She was hideous, and during the climax she began to cackle where she clearly ought have burbled; it was atrocious. The errant scene lingered in my mind all day long. And as if two hours of Harpietta was hexinating enough, my escort asked me during intermission if I've been bleaching my armhair again, right in front of the dutchess. I could've died, caught in the act, but that wasn't the end of the hexinations. There were a few drawings for prizes during the intermission and I won something: a giant, four-foot yellow duck. It was ridiculous, yet suddenly I was obliged to carry the giant yellow duck around, presumably into the theatre. Sure enough! There was nowhere else to put the duck than to bring it with me as I returned for acts three and four of The Screeching Medusa. At last we returned home, duck in tow, but even as I curled up in bed that night alongside the giant stuffed duck, I could not shake a growing sense of hexination. Even the escort - who was a bit pricy - said I seemed a bit hexinated while he was tenderly caressing my wrist, moments before nuzzling my armhairs with his forehead." 070413 ... Or was it AP? HEXINATIONS UP Royters A series of hexinatings in the west metro has local authorities perplexed and alarmed. Officials say that eight incidents of hexination were reported in the past week alone, three involving jinxes and two involving curses. One woman claims to have been followed by several men who repeatedly threw black kittens in front of her. Stewart van Vildernook, a resident of Oak Park Maples, was hexinated in the street by a juvenille wearing nothing but boots, wielding a giant candycane. 070413 what's it to you? who go blather from