healing_hands_of_time alittledoseofdefection i'm not a fan of country, but i heard this on my mother's radio while getting ready for work and it struck a chord with how i feel. the rest of most of the song fits, but this is the main part of it. "I'd like to believe in the healing hands of time but the truth is I really can't say if I'm getting better or just used to the pain. No I won't go so far as to say that I'm fine too much of what I felt for you remains. I'd like to believe in the healing hands of time but the truth is I really can't say if I'm getting better or just used to the pain. If I'm getting better or just used to the pain." (I believe that's tracy lawrence) i'm forcing myself to not give a shit anymore, that way his absence of heart doesn't hurt so much. i'm trying to wait patiently, but i feel like i've spiralled back into one of my old bad relationships and i'm waiting for hammer to come down. i feel as though i'm ridiculed for my feelings, that he's just going through the motions. when can we go back to Walnut Beach? that's what i want, that love - pure and simple. it's not that he works all the time that bothers me, it's that even when we're together that's all he talks about (i don't mind hearing it sometimes, but not all the time) like i'm not even a thought in his head. i want to be mushy again, but i guess i'm gonna be stuck just not giving a shit for some time. 060112 what's it to you? who go blather from