twice_as_nice cheer-up-emo-kid last night I saw him for the first time in twenty days. and I burst into tears while we were kissing. and it hurt so bad because I had grass cuts all over my cheeks. but he made it ok because he wiped away my tears. and I liked it. DAMNIT Im never going to FUCKING see him again. 020709 ... phil I envy you 020709 ... cheer-up-emo-kid thankyou, thats the first time anyone has said that. why do you envy me? 020711 ... phil because you have dignity because you know you will never see him again, instead of losing him unexpectedly. Also being lonely feels good... sometimes. It's not a feeling I ever had before. The weight in my stomach gives me something to hold onto, in a daydream. Plus you have a chance for famous last words, which are good for remembering, and sometimes for taking back. I envy you because of the choice you made, and how you feel. That's why it's called twice_as_nice, right, because you get everything in the world, and now you have a chance to do it again. 020724 ... cheer-up-emo-kid thankyou. I feel very honored to be envied by someone who makes as much sense as you do. but you see, Im not as strong as you make me out to be. Im still holding on. 020725 ... phil today 020729 what's it to you? who go blather from