power_dynamics Ouroboros The small hours should be renamed the odd hours, the improbable hours. She had left for the 19 year old's house a couple minutes before, to soak in the hot-tub and try to convince him to turn the power of their not-yet relationship over to her (not in those words of course). I had been on her bed, drinking wine and finishing up a conversation with Angel, feeling guilty about not doing anything for Passover. Ben knocked and came in, surprised, expecting her. After getting off the phone I found him reading in the hallway. We sat on her bed facing each other, crosslegged, and the sexual energy was there, the excitement, the potential, the air was magic between us. We talked for hours about our past months, about what was up for us. He had been focusing on power dynamics, both in school and in all the female relationships in his life. Somehow, the conversation ended up back at the NYE party, which I had been wanting to talk about with him since January. And then he said, "After that party, I had been wanting to ask you to tie me up." And I was interested, and he was still interested, and we talked about our expectations and desires and experiences. Meanwhile the sexual tension disappeared within all the weirdness and intellectualization. We exchanged numbers, shared some awful goodnight kisses, and he left. I crawled into bed, feeling more dread than excitement. 060414 ... fffffffffffffffffffffffffff? fortississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississississimo? 060414 what's it to you? who go blather from