fashion_show
tender square amanda and i weren’t friends in high school. she was a year before me, but we crossed paths because she often worked as the stage manager for the musicals the school put on each year. she struck me as a quiet person, except for when she was yelling at the cast and crew to get their shit together.

in my first year of university, we ended up in the same scenic design class together. there were less than 10 students in the class and it was good to see a familiar face. it turned out we were in the same program at university of windsor, double-majoring in drama and communication studies. we became fast friends; we’d have coffee after class and if i was on my way home for the day, i’d drop her off at her dad’s place on the east end of town.

over the years our friendship deepened. we used to knit in our radio broadcasting course together. we worked in the same plaza together and would coordinate our breaks if we had similar shifts—she was the arby’s and i was at dollarama. we loved thrift shopping together, hitting up value village and goodwill whenever we could. eventually we became neighbors downtown, living in apartment buildings that were four blocks from one another.

when she moved to toronto to pursue a marketing certificate, i visited her after i’d gone to the hillside music festival on my own to volunteer. she scored us blue jay tickets and we sat in the sun drinking draft beers in the middle of the afternoon at the rogers center. we met up with other windsor friends that had relocated to toronto (brian and ryan) and went to drag shows and korean karaoke bars. she came back with me to windsor to see her family. later, she told me i was the only friend from back home that ever came to visit her while she was away. we had a blast together there.

after she finished her certificate program, she moved back to town. part of it was toronto; for some reason her roommates thought she was weird and began treating her differently, ostracizing her. she was so lonely she started to fuck with them, turning the dining room table upside down and putting the chairs on top just because she could, just to keep them talking. the other part of it was she started seeing one of the bartenders at the loop on her last trip; she wanted to be able to pursue it to see if it was something real. i was so happy my friend was coming back home.

there were a few years where there was a group of four of us girls that were inseparable—me and amanda, and hilda, and theresa. we did once-a-week vegetarian potlucks at one another’s homes to try new recipes; hilda and amanda came out to the loop every week to dance while theresa and djed “infected thursdays”; and we still thrift shopped on the regular.

amanda and i started to lose touch after i moved to the states. part of the issue was that she didn’t own a car, so the only times we could see one another was when i came into town monthly to dj at villains with theresa. after i got sober, i stopped djing because i didn’t feel right spending so many hours in a bar when i preferred to be at home, in my bed chilling with michael and watching the office. i couldn’t really tell amanda what had happened with my leaving brandon; it was all so complicated and intense that i pulled away from a lot of people. it just felt easier that way. eventually, i let go of all my windsor friends because it felt like i had been holding onto a past life that no longer suited me.

the last time i saw amanda was at her wedding to her husband derrek. michael came with me but he and amanda had never met before and it seemed awkward to introduce them on such a big day for her. i noticed how close she seemed with the members of her wedding party and i felt like she had moved on in her life. i didn’t see how her and i fit together as friends anymore. there was no animosity, time and distance had just pulled us apart.

last summer, i texted amanda to wish her a happy birthday. we hadn’t been in touch for five years. life in the covid-era had gotten me thinking about good people i’d let go of, people who i missed and wanted to reconnect with. since then, our friendship has picked up right where we left off. we zoomed and reminisced about old times, and we started trading texts back and forth daily.

over the past 16 months or so, amanda has lost upwards of 50 pounds, and as a result, has been celebrating by treating herself to new clothes that fit her frame. she sends me pics of all her finds, and i send her pics of my scores on thredup when i’m shopping there.

there’s this episode in an early season of the office where pam, the secretary, gets a bunch of new clothes delivered to her at work and tells kelly, the customer service rep, that its arrived. when pam’s showing off her new threads and seems uncertain about her purchases, kelly says they need to have a fashion show before she sends anything back. when pam demurs, kelly starts to sing “fashion show! fashion show! fashion show at lunch!” pam obliges later in the episode by modeling the clothes for kelly in the break room.

when amanda’s shipments started to arrive in the mail, i demanded a fashion show at lunch, just like kelly kapoor. now we’ve gotten in the habit of trying on our finds and sending selfies to one another, showing how the new pieces fit with existing ones in our wardrobe. we make all these outfits even though we both work from home and don’t venture out much with covid, but it’s been a joyful way to think about the future and all the places we may wear these clothes when the time comes. we’ve expanded on the fashion show idea and now send our outfits of the day (ootd), on the occasions that we are motivated enough to get out of pajamas. it’s been a lot of fun for us, and we trade generous compliments back and forth to each other, give our opinions about how things look.

i got to see amanda for the first time in six years when i went to windsor earlier this month. michael and i went to dinner with her and her husband derrek and had a wonderful time together. they know about our plans to come to windsor, she set me up with her real estate agent. when we were in town, a house across the street from them went on the market and we talked about how cool it would be to be neighbors. the house sold quick, as expected, but her neighborhood is one michael and i are considering.

for our double dinner date, amanda wore a red pantsuit with ruffled shoulders and dazzling dangle earrings. she looked incredible. i sported my white suit with my sea and cake tee and somehow managed not to get any food stains on anything, which was nothing short of a miracle.
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tender_square amanda was on vacation with derek in the niagara region while michael and i were in windsor; we missed seeing each other but we kept in touch through text sending our fashion photos.

we had more pics to send than usual. neither of us gets ready every day with outfits and makeup, we only go through the trouble if we’re going to be out of the house or seeing people. this week we had outfits three out of the five weekdays, a new record.

tuesday, she rocked skinny jeans with a loose striped tee that had thin vertical stripes in brown and black. she layered it with an orange duster and brown lace-up booties. i wore black windowpane pants paired with a pink button-down blouse under a grey sweater with the image of a black bow. i rounded it off with a belt chain and baby pink platform oxfords i was breaking in for the first time.

wednesday, amanda went casual with olive green leggings and a white turtleneck hoodie with the brown booties. i chose bold sparkle: blue and black shiny houndstooth pants, a white button-down blouse with blue flowers beneath a black and white houndstooth sweater, topped off with a dijon-colored blazer and white booties.

thursday, she wore riding boots over dark wash jeans and a blue and red plaid blouse three-quarter sleeve blouse that tied at the waist. it was a quintessential fall ensemble and she looked uber cute. i wore my windowpane pants again, and the white and blue floral blouse beneath a black sweater with large blue and white polka dots and the white booties. amanda liked my mix of patterns.

when i didn’t think the hotel had a full-length mirror, i got michael to snap my outfit pictures to send her. but the problem with someone else taking your photo is you can’t be picky about the results—my face was covered in all sorts of weird shadows. i texted amanda, “boys don’t know how to take pics” when i attached my image. amanda had been getting her husband derek to snap her pics that week too, but hers were better; derek’s had more practice because amanda insists he reshoot if she doesn’t like the results. i love this about her.

i mentioned their arrangement to michael and he said he and derek were “conscripted” into being our photographers.

what does that word mean again?”

you know it,” he said.

was it a gre word? i don’t remember.”

it means to be drafted for war.”

i laughed, texted amanda. “we definitely gave our husbands no choice in the matter,” she responded with a cry-laughing emoji.
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