a_list_of_you kerry fish navy blue fleece PHISH dark red clay sleepy campfires letters smoke carrots telephones mazda droopy 021219 ... farmfish hair like the color of wet straw.... robin hill granola... playing acoustic bass... '64 ford pick-up with a dvd monitor... turquoise and silver... kite flying along the water... feeldood burton snowboard... homemade hackey sack from carded wool... attentive listener. 021220 ... pilgrim Man child Problem solver Irresponsible savior Detatched observer Time Tourist Sedentary Vagabond Star Gazer Seeking the Metaphysical In the Logical Believer of Half Truths And Wild Speculations The Fool 021220 ... Sonya black rimmed glasses dish pan hands worn carpenter jeans plush white tiger disheveled pony tail unicorn dreams a room full of relics shiny paperclips almond eyes stacks of cds pilot precise pen cobalt notebook an olive button on a silver loop skinny fingers charcoal drawings heavily guarded hope and last, but not least... my very own donut truck 021220 ... bethany childlike arrogant hardly ever match laugh like i mean it bedhead 24/7 empathetic condecending old soul full of hope full of love nice eyes inquisitive scream with the radio inovative hit when i dont know what to say bakery girl irish a tooth pokes my tongue mordecai in denial about needing my glasses crayons drive way too fast 021221 ... kerry my last list was about someone else so here is mine scarves gray shoes tapes green small bones high up chilly lace collarbone grandfather clock slush lips lashes shadows 021221 ... Freak wanting dreaming waiting hoping wishing reaching and scared to death 021222 ... icewater you: beautiful 021223 ... icewater lonely coffee hiking Art long letters pedro the lion skeleton Requiem for a Dream small towns big cities energy rental cars Jitterbug perfume 021224 ... angie long lashes beautiful baby eyes strong shoulders and arms naturally wavy hair valiant genuine loyal aggressive bashful confident honest full lips binge drinker cant stand cigarettes dances like crazy raps like dmx kisses like no other always wants me to be comfortable even if he is in agony stubborn as hell 030121 ... silentbob i could write a list of you and still not cramp my hand 030122 ... unhinged innocence bass cherry pie chocolate milk kent weed pills and beer (codiene) snow guilt rejection weed hugs (real ones) hugs quit vanished las vegas stripper pimp meth phone calls dad home rumors paranoia hospitals rehab recovery isolation paranoia depression suicide smiles stories clutching hands whispers hugs numbers phone calls paranoia depression suicide fights screams smiles hugs kisses words coke fights cars letters hugs angels sober love couch dog sneeze pick up drop off calls nightly daily happy maybe tears jams stares leers fights assumptions hugs goodbyes calls nightly silences tears trips stolen moments sober love job calls bass funk unexpected drunk goodbye last time 030818 ... nomme me 030818 ... bijou clicks shutters windows light light blonde blue paper animal vegetable mineral digital rubber tires rubber soles rubber bands light light light clicks windows 031227 ... carter built in sprinkler system etch_a_sketch driving slept lets make cookies. 040105 ... once again i could not say the ways in which I knew you. I could no more number the stars then I could these pieces of you I had so careuflly saved. a piece of a smile, a fraction of a wink... an entire line of your finger captured in my mind, in my eye, in my heart. I could not write them, for the words would not match the reality of being a keeper of these things. No poetry could describe the colors in your eyes, or the words that poured off your tongue and come to rest inside my ears. And so I dare not make a list, for fear that the numbers would somehow demean or diminish the reality of you. Instead I shall remember, not by rote, but because I simply cannot forget, each individual moment of you. each second that you lived, and breathed and blinked and spoke. And some of the pieces will never make a whole, never fit the mold that you have poured for yourself, but I will save them none the less. I could never give you away. 041117 ... unhinged time only makes me miss you more they say you have one great love in your life 041117 ... unhinged miss you no more age made me realize you didn't deserve me but sometimes i still wonder how you are if you are okay knowing you are probably the same way living with your parents putting shit up your noise bouncing from worthless job to worthless job but_still you were the only one that loved me THAT way the way i am currently aching for holding hands every spare waking moment spent with molecules mingling close sharing deepest darkest corners of too long lonely hearts so sometimes i still find myself wondering if you're okay what you are up to at this very second today 071211 ... unhinged aim on the office mac telephone your voice mozart the thought of you what i run to airplanes coming home to you teenage lust respect no pushing leaving tormenting diner tears odd stares pack of cigarettes your unbathed smell driving and missing being able to hold your hand and the feeling of that being enough hiding behind sunglasses a faked bravery leaving so much more painful than letting_go in my darker moments i wish i'd never known what it actually felt like to really love someone be protected held wanted enough to be enlightened to the greater power of love beyond biology and chemistry a safe haven from the suffering of interconnectedness fleeting leaving crying cracking 081202 ... sarcasting call you young youngberries youngberry younger youngers youngest youngish youngling younglings youngness youngnesses youngs youngster youngsters younker younkers youpon youpons your yourn yours yourself yourselves youse youth youthen youthened youthening youthens youthful youthfully youthfulness youthfulnesses youthquake youthquakes youths 081202 ... unhinged tattooed on my skin 220122 ... kerry -tuna melts and coal oven pizza -holes in nearly every sock -charles mingus and andy kauffman -a cigar once in a blue moon -red framed glasses and cardigans -shelves heavy with marx and chomsky -feet soft as a child’s -old fashioneds in a cut glass tumbler -(too much) honey in your tea -serious brown eyes -lashes so long they cast shadows -unflappable, skeptical, sentimental 220123 what's it to you? who go blather from