flit daxle all this spinning in my head i can never say what i mean to say what first comes out is contradicted by a second voice that disagrees. sometimes people call me contrary. i feel they shouldn't take it personally. i want to be narrow and focused. i have less concentration than a butterfly. at least they know what they are looking for. i resent the chaos and i crave the chaos. i was relieved two times today: 1) during deep breathing i felt ecstacy. 2) i've already forgotten the second one. GNAT, i'm a gnat. 040830 ... daxle he said "if your goal is to show me that i can be happy then you should give up. i can't be happy. it isn't a part of me." i said "what a waste of a life. you should just kill yourself" 040830 ... daxle i never thought my absence would be duly noted at a fetish ball 040830 ... daxle tamborines from the left wall and death rock from the ceiling 040830 ... daxle i said "you don't have to be witty" he said "i want to be, for you" he bowed i curtsied i walked down the street attempting to calculate the manner in which i will eventually alienate him 040830 ... daxle buzzing buzzing i thought you superficial but maybe it is not so hard to get to the parts that make me cry 040831 ... dessiahs_song shrill, wonderful - a syllable of aimless creativity. 061225 ... dessiahs_song a dedication ~ to a flit i know, who sings and makes me smile. 070101 what's it to you? who go blather from