excised unhinged it's hard to walk_away but once things have been simplified eliminated i start to feel whole again and those perfect days feel once again perfect clean unmarred you sat in the cafe and watched me eat i was slightly unnerved staring down at my sandwich concentrating but i couldn't help it i looked in your eyes and what i saw there made me use muscles to smile that had long been unused you said 'i am so glad you are happy now; you used to be so unhappy. it's good to see you smile.' it was you the way you looked at me the way you haphazardly picked a beer from the long list on the menu the way you seemed surprised at the waitress's extensive knowledge when they were out of what you picked the way the sun shined in the wall of windows exchanging bites of sandwiches it was mostly you that made me smile that way and i can remember how that felt now cutting bullshit out of your life can be a long painful process it's weird the things that make you realize your own worth sandwiches sunshine smiles distance 070520 ... unhinged (i can still look in the mirror and smile at what i see far cry from the days i didn't recognize my own reflection) 090130 ... unhinged i learned a lesson and applied it with brute force after i said no to you i permanently severed a couple other men that i had ambiguous_relationships with my life is definitely more quiet and straightforward now 150513 what's it to you? who go blather from