saddened imposter By this hole inside, an empty longing and craving that hurts so badly and leaves me with nothing to say when I am so filled with love and emptied by hurt. If Joy and Pain ever had a son, he would be me 030902 ... Lisa My boyfriend isn't who he used to be. He wanders in his body, working, sleeping, eating. Maybe he calls me, maybe he doesn't. My heart isn't where it used to be. I wait for him to be okay, for him to find his lost self. To find his passion. I don't have many friends, and one chooses to make a deal of out nothing, because she at least needs something. I can't mourn over her loss, only his loss. I won't, can't, refuse to give her attention that she doesn't deserve. It was NOT her mother that died. My finals are eating away at me, I need to do work, I feel like, I haven't gotten anything done. But, I know by just opening the book, I'm doing something. All of this saddened me. Saddens me. All of this will come to a climax, and I don't want to be around to witness it. 031215 what's it to you? who go blather from