unaskable icy she sat there, watching him look at the girl, with questions swirling about in her mind she would never dare to ask. questions that haunted her continuously, but would never see the light of day... she had asked a few of them, and so their wings were clipped by her inability and others' misunderstandings, and so she guards the rest like a precious treasure trove. great droves of questions... the ones asked were placed into tight coffins and buried deep with no chance of resurfacing. sometimes, asking those questions brought nothing more than derision and perhaps temporary ostracism, but more than a few brought ends to various relationships and such. and still the inability and unwillingness to ask any of the questions swirling like a maelstrom about in her head brought about loathing for herself and a sense of failure. for when there are no more questions to be asked, or one refuses to ask them, then what? and she did not want to know the answer, but feared she may find out. . 051117 ... icy and so the refusal is built up again and fortified. and how long will it hold this time? insidious impatience and forgetfulness - you don't learn. but making the same mistake twice and more appears to be my legacy. or, more accutately, my curse. 051226 ... icy accurately . 051226 ... no reason what are we? 051226 what's it to you? who go blather from