dreams_of_the_false_prophet Dafremen Repeats from blather_blue are for purposes of continuity. "These are the people who belong to the realm of Prophecy, always peering into the future. The whole universe is open for the searching power of their minds, and their inner vision sees the truth more certainly and more quickly than does the ordinary mortal. This peculiar insight becomes so great that it enables them to see what other cannot understand, and many strange and wonderful revealments come to these people." - Professor A.F. Seward from "The Zodiac and Its Mysteries Sagittarius Chapter" "Yea Dad, it was in the old house", she said, "There were people running into their houses, screaming and scared." "Why were they afraid, mija?", I asked. "Because something was going to explode or because something was exploding. I think it was the Sun, I'm not sure. I just know that they were hiding and covering their heads, and they were REALLY afraid." I didn't mention the feelings that I had had all of those long months ago, the feelings that had brought us to this place. It didn't seem wise to tell her of the fear which I had felt for so long before, in our other home; how it haunted me until the day that we left. I didn't want to disturb her dreams, and besides, those feelings were gone now, suddenly replaced by a new fear. "Let me know if you have anymore dreams, OK mijita?" "Ok, Dad. Thanks for listening." "I love you mija", I said, then my hands started to shake. I was sure, somehow, that it wasn't the Sun they were running from. 021025 ... Dafremen "I remember that they left just before that to get help", she replied. "So who was left then? Just you and me?", I asked. I needed to hear every detail, I needed to know if the 'nightmares' were more...if perhaps, this child of mine had been blessed..no cursed, with impossible visions, prescient dreams. "No, Jaybee was there too.", she said, "We decided that we had to get out, but the soldiers and police were everywhere and they wouldn't let us leave the house." "Are you sure that it was THIS house?", I asked, "It wasn't someplace else?" "No, it was here, but it was on an island. An island covered by a city. There was water everywhere, it was dark and dirty." I live on a mountain. A large bowl shaped valley, the Tijuana River valley, lies below, surrounded by hills. On a hunch, I asked my next question. "Were there any other islands, mija?" "Huh? Oh yea, there were..across the water, but there was something different about them somehow." "How so?" I was starting to dread each word that was coming out of my little girl's mouth at this point. "They were covered with houses like a city too. There was no beach on the island, though. The houses just kept going to the water. The roads too, like they just disappeared down into the water. Streets, going past the houses and into the water." The hair on my neck stood up, and I felt that I needed some air or a stiff drink right then. I instead thanked my daughter, then walked quickly out the door, and down the street. I knew that what I was about to see was only a formality. I had seen the same view a thousand times before, but sensed that somehow, this time would be different. As I reached the edge of the mountaintop and looked to the valley, across the way I saw the houses, which covered the hills on the opposite side like barnacles. Roads that formed parallel lines ran vertically down through the houses into the valley below. In my mind, the waters began to rise, obliterating my view of the river and of the entire valley area, leaving only my own hilltop, now an island, and another across from it, some 5 miles distant, where the house-covered hills had once been. My mind's eye saw, as clearly as though it had already come to pass, the houses on the lower part of the hillside, now only barely visible at the line formed by the still rising water. Past the rows of houses went the streets, disappearing into the dark, dirty water. 021025 ... Dafremen These signs, these visions that had been coming her way were little more than nightly fantasies to her. For weeks now, she had been telling me of her dreams, almost casually. Like most children, she seemed grateful that someone was taking her seriously, taking the time to understand and care about what she had to say. What she didn't realize was that my interest was not just that of a supportive parent. I had my own reasons for listening so intently to everything that she said. For over a year now, I had been having similar impressions of my own, only mine weren't visions or dreams. They were feelings. In my youth I had ignored these gut instincts, only to find myself running head first into the consequences of doing so. Only after years of experimenting with these hunches, these intuitive insights, did I realize that they were more FOR ME, than against me. I am a man of logic and reason, the notion of prescience has always been repugnant to me. It has always appeared to me as if, in order for someone to know something in advance, those events would have to be inflexibly etched in the future. This amounts to a belief in fate, predestiny, and THAT is a notion which, to this day, I refuse to entertain. I have always believed that we make our own destinies, that man is the creator of his future, and that his past actions are the cause of his present circumstances. Learning to trust my instincts had shaken that belief at first, until I placated my skepticism with a logical explanation: Perhaps, it was my mind's subconscious activity that accounted for the accuracy of these impressions of mine. The explanation seemed logical, and in fact was. If my brain could take all of the information that it received and somehow put together connections that my conscious mind had missed, I reasoned, then it could calculate PROBABLE outcomes. What would appear to be impossible prediction, would then in fact, simply be subconscious guess work. This theory of mine satisfied me for many years, even through my personal discovery of astrology. Now my little girl, this precious, strong, but sensitive little person, had begun to knock my beliefs off of their very foundations with these dreams of hers. Each of them seemed to confirm the improbable future that I had felt, but ignored. As she went on, I could almost see my impressions of dramatic changes to come, being played out before me as she spoke. "Mom and Noemi weren't there though. Neither was Zemo. It was just you, Jaybee and me and a bunch of people that I don't know who they were", she went on ,"everyone was like a big family and we all lived in this little town." "Town? What kind of town? Like a big city? Like with a store and a bank and a main street? Describe the town to me, mija." "No, it was different. It was like at the park that we used to go to for picnics. They had a big like, shelter-thingy.." "A pavilion?", I interrupted. "Yea, I guess, like that, but all of the people would come down and eat together there. They had houses all around the pavilion and buildings where people worked. There was always lots of talking and laughing and I felt like everyone was really happy there. I felt like I never wanted to leave. I didn't even miss Noemi or Zemo...or even Mom..", with that a tear welled up in her eye, "Dad, I don't want Mom to go away. Please tell me she won't go away Dad. Please?" I pulled her to me and put my arms around her, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead. "It's ok mijita, your Mom and I are going to be together for a long time to come", I whispered, trying to soothe her, "a very long time. Don't you worry." In reality however, I wasn't so certain. I had come to see my intuitions brought to life in the dreams of my youngest daughter, and soon, those same intuitions told me, I would see their realization in the outside world. I longed for it not to be true, but all of my experiences with my gut feelings told me that it probably WAS true, and I did NOT want that. I did NOT want to lose the family that I had spent my whole life building. Did not want to lose the only woman that I had ever truly loved, the only one that had truly and faithfully loved me. "Your mother and I still love each other VERY much, and NOTHING is going to happen to her", I reassured. Question was, who would reassure me? 021025 ... Dafremen It had been months since my daughter's last dream. She had promised to let me know when she had one, and I had promised to listen when she did. I took the time to begin this journal of my thoughts on the future, and to chronical what had been happening, both in my thoughts and in her dreams. It is hard to describe the strange events that have occurred in our lives since the summer of 2000. Long before the flood wiped out our home, we had been planning on leaving. Still, our love of that place, the beauty of it and the comfort of enjoying what we had built together kept us from moving on as we had planned. It was the home that had kept us from leaving and it was the flood that finally forced us to leave. For me, the loss of that place was even more profound a loss than to even Mary, my wife. It was in that home that I had received the first revelation. You would think that such a deep and spiritual experience would have occurred on a mountaintop or in the forest, in a meadow or someplace more suited to universal insights. Not this time. It happened in the bathroom, a quiet place where we often spent quiet time away from the kids. We were talking, Mary and I, when a sensation came over me, a singular experience which I can only describe as the lifting of a veil from over my mind. In that one glorious moment, I saw the entire cycle of the universe played out in my mind. I saw the Big Bang for what it was, not what it appeared to be. I saw that it was, in fact a Big Blow, that the enormous forces compressing everything in the universe into one point at the end of the cycle, had created a new universe, a new time space bubble on this side. It was the release of this pressure and the forces behind it's compression that had created the expansion that we currently observe. Eventually, the energy would become matter, the matter would converge into large groups of matter and those groups would eventually be drawn into black holes. Those black holes would continue to be drawn into one another until everything in the universe, the entirety of all that is would be one thing at one point for one moment, unity. After that, the formation of a new universe. So it would go forever, and in fact, during that 3 second revelation, I was blessed enough to see 4 complete cycles. Then came the words and the tears. Unknown words dropped from my mouth as Mary looked on in confused amazement. The most eloquent and glorious words on the unity that is the beginning and the end. So many other things fell from my lips in those 5 minutes. I was unaware where exactly they came from, I only know that they did NOT come from me, but from something much older and wiser than I was. At the end, I was stunned by what had happened. My heart was filled with joy for what I had been given, but also with shame for having searched my heart and found myself unworthy. I further proved my unworthiness by rolling and smoking a joint in an attempt to still my trembling hands. Mary left at that point, still unsure of what had just happened. We only talked of it one time after that. I'm afraid that she saw it as madness, the start of a nervous breakdown or something of the like. Perhaps she was right, one could hope. If only it had been that easy. I would have gladly taken madness over the responsibility which I felt that I had been given. I knew then, that my search for truth was drawing to a close, that the teacher that is the universe had begun to confide in me with the pages from the answer key. I felt a fool, a child entirely unprepared to shoulder that sort of responsibility. I still do, but have at least begun to prepare myself. Nothing could have prepared me for the second revelation, the revelation that would start me on the path to my own self-purification. The road to making myself worthy for that which I now feel must come. Still I am a child, following the teachings of a feeling inside, and hoping that the path which it indicates will not lead to my losing my way, or losing my mind. 021025 what's it to you? who go blather from