auditory_hallucinations raze two words spoken by no one "you idiot" hushed all breath but clearly heard 130321 ... raze "do you have a pin?" said in an amused voice with laughter not far away 130422 ... raze "balloon" a male voice then the sound of something being torn not violent but jarring 131010 ... jane "just wake up." 131010 ... raze my foot on the floor made a sound like a voice outside the door and i could swear i heard a man speaking low but when i looked out there it was only sun and a few clumps of snow 131129 ... unhinged sound_installation 131130 ... ever dumbening "james" my name. loud, forcefully. at least twice that i remember clearly, but i think maybe one or two more times. at night. once at lake mead outside las vegas on a houseboat. once in my west oakland loft. 131130 ... CheapVodka Do you hear that cat? No I don't hear it at all. Are you sure you don't hear it? It's crying. You don't hear that cat? I don't think there is a cat. I hear it, I can't believe you don't hear that cat. I have to assume you're correct, but I really don't hear it. It's under the house, I'm just gonna check. Go ahead, just let me sleep. I really don't think there's a cat. I looked under the house, I couldn't find it. I still hear it tho. I think it's in the bushes. I told you not to wake me up, I don't hear the fucking cat! Just go back to bed. I'm sure there's a cat. You're fucking crazy, ok? I said it! There is no fucking cat. Go the fuck to sleep. Good night. I checked in the bushes and I couldn't find it, but I still hear it. Is it possibly in your head? I don't hear any cat and who cares if there is one? It's 4 o'clock in the morning! I'm just gonna check for the cat one more time, just in case. You bastard. 131130 ... raze a far_away cuckoo clock singing cuckoo cuckoo 140603 ... e_o_i In the grocery store yesterday, someone broadcast a fuzzy French message over the audio system, but before my brain registered it as French I heard "Kirsten, speak more Indian." Moi? "Indian" isn't even a language, and if I tried to use an Indian accent I'd make a fool of myself and/or needlessly offend someone. But yeah! 140609 ... raze benevolent british voices 140625 ... raze phantom lawn-mowing at 4:30 in the morning 140722 ... flowerock thought I was hearing violins being played all night, it was just the ringing in my ears. tinitus? or something else. almost always present, fluctuating volume and tones... It drives me crazy some days. it scared me as a child, I had watched a cartoon movie where a man was lost in the forest and heard the chattering of some creatures in the bushes they drove him to insanity and y memory is that he jumped off a cliff to the ocean but I think he actually got away to finish the story... I thought y ringing was from some creature trying to drive me insane eventually to suicide. it s very loud today and it is exhausting. it s louder and louder more often in the city. 140722 ... flux "one and a half" - (one and a half what?) "years" "do you want to take trips, or give them?" 140726 ... flux heimia_salicifolia 140726 ... raze "here is my girlfriend jesus christ" 140929 ... e_o_i A good name for a girlfriend! I have ringing in my ears, too - have it ever since I could remember, it's like the whine of a fridge - but it doesn't bother me unless things are very quiet, or my ears are blocked, or I've been exposed to continuous loud noise recently = all situations where I can hear it. Ordinarily I can't unless I block my ears. Tinnitus doesn't usually mean hearing loss or an underlying disease. The bad news is people don't usually know, either, how to get rid of it. If you can avoid being in really loud places it won't be as bad, but I suspect the city is noisier so that's part of the problem. 140930 ... e_o_i When I was really tired once, I was convinced that the rattle of a bathroom fan in an unfamiliar place was opera music. 140930 ... e_o_i (I could hear it, soprano arias and all. It sounded like it was in Latin or Italian. In Quebec I bet they only have French and English bathroom fans. Boring.) 140930 ... raze hearing your father cluck like a chicken, first sounding puzzled, and then with real authority. there's an interesting "series of sounds that didn't really happen" to wake up to. 170611 ... raze "huh?" (a male voice heard before falling asleep, rising in pitch more than you'd think was possible for such a short sound.) 211002 ... raze a three-second burst of music at once too intense and too distant to be understood 211102 ... unhinged hildegard said her music was a gift from god sent in dreams many modern musicologists question her mental health i think she was just a strong deep wide conduit for the creative consciousness that was most often called God back in the twelfth century 211102 ... kerry i describe it as sounding like the ocean, imagine putting a conch to your ear it's a sound you can fall into, it is consuming 211103 ... Waiting... "Psychosomatic auditory hallucinations.... Most people have to pay for such a thing." 211120 ... raze "goo goo!" real loud and happy. not a child's voice. my father's voice again. but it was 5:30 in the morning, and he was asleep downstairs, too far away to sound so close. 220221 ... raze my hand moving beneath my pillow became a question: "lil bit?" it sounded like my own voice. 220407 ... tender_square the mechanized whir of a breast pump. church bells. 220410 ... tender_square a 60s soul radio station with a touch of static. 220413 ... tender_square two soft, inaudible voices carried on the drag as the silent car cut across highway lanes. 220517 ... raze a gritty, almost robotic male voice: "one... two..." 220624 ... tender_square a door getting sucked shut when the air ceases flow. 220717 ... e_o_i Courtesy of a rattling fan and my falling-asleep mind, a man and a woman saying "Couch!" in unison. They sounded excited about it, as if it was a riddle they'd just solved. 220718 ... kerry rustling in the kitchen, creaking in the hall. i say it's dom's ghost. he smirks and turns up the volume on the tv. 220718 ... raze something heavy falling over or a door being closed 220802 ... raze a bright billowing synth patch restricted to my right ear a three-second arpeggiated major key sonic waking dream 220823 ... tender_square rain pattering the plastic of a window well. 220902 ... tender_square a car speeding away. 220909 ... tender_square leaf corpses raked in the dark. 221110 ... raze a laugh that mocked me mixed in with the wind 221224 ... tender_square conversations outside my window and footsteps in the upstairs apartment, as though after-midnight showings were happening. 230314 ... raze half the time, i can't tell the difference anymore between the witless wheeze of the locomotive brutes that torment me day and night and the sick whimsy of my own fractured imagination. 230315 ... raze a woman greeting either the flat floor of a desert basin or a man with many romantic partners with a single word: "playa." 230430 ... raze the rising cry of a party whistle in my right ear. 230527 ... raze a woman's high-pitched laughter. four short bursts of sound, drifting left from the center of the stereo field. 230724 ... raze a child screaming. not afraid, but celebratory. 230727 ... past a warm squishy fuzz, a sort of hum that doesn't quite curdle the stomach. 230728 ... raze two soft melodic squeals like the ringing of an underwater telephone. 230827 ... raze i just heard his laptop booting up. the little two-note melody that always plays after he signs in. but he's asleep. so that can't be. 230828 ... raze the sharp, shrill laughter of a delighted child. 230905 ... raze five bleats from a backup_beeper. 231002 ... raze a soft digital chirp. a microwave absorbing one number and no more. 231020 what's it to you? who go blather from