lapse
werewolf after his wife left him and then subsequently died, he often felt ill at ease. he had heard of cases where a person, through some head trauma, internal or external, would lose all of their memories up to a certain point. he had this horrible fear of one day waking up and remembering nothing of what had passed for the last six years. all of the wrong or right thoughts he had would be undone, and his feeling of unquestionable love for her would be fully reborn. he would think of her in that same old way and be constantly confused as to why she was not there in his life. people would tell him and he would imagine that it was true, but still there would be in his heart all of the reasons he had brushed aside when he let her leave. and love would again fill his daily tasks, but this time with a haunting and lonely permanence, no redress, locked away and no longer negotiable, the other who could unlock it gone. as if it was some nuclear arms with one of the keys to launch it lost forever, so that it sat there, burdensome and always palatable in its explosive potential, but dumb and sad and tiring. 061015
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