valley_girl
MollyGoLightly it fucking rocks. yes it does. 000713
...
the iron sausage

DEAR PERSON WHO LIKES TO CONSUME
STUPID VALLEY GIRL MERCHANDISE...


Ever since the album SHIP ARRIVING TOO LATE TO SAVE A DROWNING WITCH was released and America discovered the song "VALLEY GIRL," many of those anonymous little companies who crank out disposable poot for persons such as yourself to identify with have worked overtime to flood the market with disgusting types of UNAUTHORIZED VALLEY GIRL SWILL.

NOW... AT LAST! REAL GENUINE SWILL FROM PRICE/STERN/SLOAN WITH THE VALLEY GIRL AROMA!

From the moment you purchase this splendid little item and get out your crayons, you can become personally involved in one of the the dumbest fads to hit the streets in years. This coloring book was prepared by Roger Burrows (world famous coloring book artist), and Bob Lovka (world famouns guy who writes captions for coloring books of this nature), with the editorial assistance of MOON ZAPPA HERSELF (and a little help from me, HER DAD). We hope you enjoy it and find it totally tubular.


[signed]
FZ

Frank Zappa, September, 1982



[The rest of the book has lyrics on the left and a cartoon on the right, ready for your crayons. Under the lyrics on each page are Moon's helpful notes on what is going on in the picture, or suggestions on how to best color the Val. For instance:]

A GUIDE TO LIKE COLORING A VALLEY GIRL
1. Fix her hair in a Shag and color it smoggy blonde.
2. Color her outfit totally awesome. Don't forget the frilly stuff.
3. Use suntan beige for the pantyhose; white for the grody runs.
4. Fill the inside of her head with air. 		010103
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