dear_pneuma_9000 vladimir seizes lucky"s hat i've suicided on various occasions and i also spent some time in a psych ward and i also have since slept a lot and also my creativity declined while on the SSRIs and also i have trouble holding down jobs, etc. according to one psych i went to i should find other people like you because we have so much in common. i say thats b.s. as we have perhaps nothing in common except for that our reaction to this world was to find some other world or perhaps oblivion. i too know that it is likely some day i will be the source of my own death but for now, for a long time, i shall wait, for reasons unknown in spite of the tennis in spite of the soccer the scooters the cell phones the skulls the skulls the skulls the skulls 060214 ... estragon recoils "who farted" it was pozzo read waiting_for_godot by s. beckett you won't feel any better but you won't feel worse, either. it's no worse than other therapy and it is much cheaper 060214 ... lastly it's not your mind it's this world trust me your mind is fine this world, too many people this world is fucked it's not your mind 060214 ... pneuma_9000 Yeah, during times like these I feel like I'm just waiting to get my courage up to finish it sometimes, waiting for that 'someday' to be today. But I don't feel it will be too soon (I don't know how to feel about saying that: I want it). But I guess I have time to read some more books. I just wanna feel the goddamn sun, and read a good book. 060214 what's it to you? who go blather from