camille letting go, total freedom, forgiveness of self and others 110401
unhinged some part of me still doesn't get why i am your go to girl. some part of me resents that i am your go to girl. some part of me waits to hear your_voice on the phone. some part of me is always waiting for the life changing bad news ( the_day_you_died still haunts me).

you wanted my address so you could write to me when you are locked_up again. you fully anticipate dying in there this time. i hesitated, you had to convince me.

you kicked all of it while you were waiting for your dad to post bail and i could hear the sobriety in your_voice. it is so subtle someone with a less trained ear might have missed it. but i hear it, i can tell when your heart is wiped clean from all that shit.

at some point in any serious conversation we have you will always try to apologize to me. it is part of our song and dance.

i cut you off 'i know you are sorry. you don't have to apologize to me anymore. i know and believe that you are sorry.'

'thank you.'

i have waited years to hear you say thank you
what's it to you?
who go