defensive
yoink i exposed a little gem to the woman at the well in hopes that it would strike up a key of honesty and friendliness

instead, what do i get?

stones thrown at me for everything.

i guess the world hates honesty.

that, or it can't handle the truth
010519
...
Joy Not admitting that you are aroused. 030824
...
misstree i want to be attracted. i really do.

i have no reason not to be. i can think up excuses all i want, but really, the peachfish states its desires quite clearly. but the brain, not so much balks, as hits a numb spot. there's nothing there, no desire, only intellectual interest.

i am always disappointed when their interest dies immediately and completely when i end the game, when i put across in maybeless terms that no, my brain is broken, as lovely as a good solid fuck would feel i'm not interested. i can't blame them, given the circumstances, but i feel the loss of a human connection to mating drives and directives, and it hurts, both because they feel it and i cause it.

i wish i could want them.
061219
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from