comatose
distorted tendencies filmy eyes dulled with weeping
they looked upon you
and wept some more
and some more; waiting
and i waited
and you waited
for you

wake up.
010820
...
distorted tendencies the symphony plays a song for you
you stir, fluttering
we think he's risen
your body still in perfect precision
011007
...
Casey I want to lie, ship wrecked and comatose, drinking fresh mango juice. 011007
...
fairydust never awake
i float through the days
never awake
and i pass you by
never awake
011008
...
distorted tendencies Why did you do it this morning? I feel comatose inside. And I am sore, mentally, emotionally, and physically. 011009
...
distorted tendencies comatose, almost
you've got me dreaming
slipping in
and sliding out
of conscious feeling



I am lost in your eyes
hypnotized...


comatose, almost...
011212
...
distorted tendencies Don't be afraid
i'm floating away
away


away

away..
011212
...
distorted tendencies Never quite sure, you were always confused.

And me, I mistaked my vanity with obsession.

You said you loved me and wanted someone else.

And me.. I followed and did everything you told me with no question.

You would always tell me it would be alright, when you weren't alright yourself.

And I could never help you, because I was just a shadow.

You and I were both fucked up kids, and we're both fucked up teenagers.

You were the sadist, and I was your victim. I was supposed to love what you did. I ended up giving myself to you and I became disposable.

I lost myself inside of you and I don't have control anymore. I don't have the heart or the words to tell you it was all you.

You ripped me heart and my emotions and feeling right out of me. And now you own them.

I feel nothing.
You feel emptiness.
I'm tired of living.
You're tired of dealing.

I'm exhausted, fatigued because words aren't enough.

I want to stop moving forever.
I don't want to wake up anymore.
020301
...
. blink blink 020302
...
Kate "babies still in her comatose stage,
I'll die my own Easter eggs
just don't go, just don't go
Beenie lost the sunset
but that's ok
Does Joe still bring flowers to Marilyn's grave?
With girls that eat pizza and never gain weight. Never gain weight. Never gain weight."

Father Lucifer - Tori Amos
020706
...
Mahayana when everything inside quiets
when everything inside is nonexistant
[lethargic inertness]

[having lost motion]
[having lost the power of exertion]
[having lost feeling]
020706
...
stork daddy thanks for your patience the clerk said with a kindness more han the company's standard which he'd probably deduct as a work related expense. patience he thought-i go through life comatose - i guess it does look patient. Truth is i can barely reach through all of my paralysis and say anything to people, move anything...my pinky finger twitches (that's what it feels like when i try with romance, a coma patient trying to tell his loved ones he hears them while they discuss pulling the plug - an unnoticed pinky twitch). So why waste everything on anger. 040421
...
bauxxx Because I look at the things I've written, and I can't fucking breathe. 071210
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