as_a_lover jimmy i have seemed both self-possessed, capable, even daring and fragile, unimaginative, a little boy. in two nights, not just in concept, but in my body's memory, i realized that patience and acceptance are what makes a lover. one night was reckless and forgetful, another was slow building unity. both girls a foil for the other. you have a moment of understanding, and you blow into it like hot glass, watching it expand. if it cools or you drop it, it shatters. some nights, you take it quick like a shot, with a rabbit heart beat, your eyes dart away from your lust. but one night, i learned, i looked up, my eyes were slow and unavoidant. it's only then you feel as if you've disappeared. 040223 ... ClairE My number_one role, before books and definitely not after phone calls, bills, and hauling laundry down the hall, my mind is on sweat sweat and even more than some teenaged boy, I carry it in my hands I carry it in my breast the duty twirls around me like a red cape, I know the words to say, the correct order I know how to make you hot, to sing you to sleep, to make you think about me when I'm not there. 040223 what's it to you? who go blather from