sab and sitting here, reading these i figure out
that i havent written much lately.
yes, i wrote a script, and the jury's still out as to how good it is or not, but it occurs to me that i havent written anything pretty in ages.

and i sit and listen for the voice that has the pretty words
and its missing.

lots of emails and lots of letters, lots of ideas and lots of art

but only utalitarian words.

and thats kinda weird.
sad_bitch will provide the greatest benefit for the greater amount of people. 050519
olive you say you haven't written anything pretty in ages...
i don't think i've written anything pretty in my age.
when i try, even reading the words to myself embarrasses.
so i find my self writting nonsense.
its usually not nonsense to me.
its usually little pieces of things in my mind, and ideas in my environment that would only make sense to me as i read them later on.
and it doesn't make me embarrassed.
because no one knows it but me.
no one can really know what was going through my secret mind but myself.

i need to open up.
be more...
i want to feel a little less utilitarian when i use words.
unhinged read some
czeslaw_milosz (sp?)

pretty and/or pushing the limits
painting with words
connotations like colors
or even just literally
turning words and spaces
into something structural on the page
what's it to you?
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