jennifer feelings crash into me
like nightmares
washing over me
in hot jagged memories
crimson My moods and surroundings
Shift as waves do.
Oh, the perilous waters of life.
Sometimes I feel as though I have spiraled backward
Into boundless cold waters
With no trace of light or escape
And a crushing pressure that
Builds with every moment.
divine madness unable to follow the current
undeniably wanting not to
just so I may get to you
but you are taken by it and gladly I watch
as you drift away
and I, a solitary one, float
broken axle Lunchtime. 040222
amy nada could be enjoyable, if it's not, like, a totally constant thing. if constantly overwhelmed, never having any fun. constantly making personal meaning out of things in an attempt to fight back. complexisaurus. boundaries are self-constructed, and brittle and easily collapsable. fragile ego. coping? right. the powers-that-be-in-the-psychosphere told me to just give up long ago. it's not maintainable. they are probably right, sad to say. unless a marvelous circus contraption of inspiration and assistance comes along. so my choices are to fight (on some level) or have faith in my survival. i keep it zen. (but pray and keep an eye out for circus contraption, for better or worse).

maybe i'm just undisciplined, but somehow i think it's more than that. lacking true faith in *earthly* reward. or, i'm at a deficit in some areas and try to overcompensate in others. i know i'm not in debt, metaphysically. one could argue that it's greed. oh well. what can you do? (serious question).
what's it to you?
who go