villain grendel after all "everything happens for a reason" right? fuck you. 050802 ... grendel Q: how many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: The lightbulb has to want to change 050802 ... misstree someone's got to do it. high mortality rate, though. 050802 ... thieums One of my best friend's last name. Funnily enough, he's a very good and wise man. 051005 ... Risen I used to like it. It was a kind of thrill. Or maybe it was an act. Playing the villain. I would enjoy the power. We talk about it in NA. Holding people hostage. Having that control over them. But I don't find it attractive anymore. Telling someone my secret wasn't about power, or revenge, it was about needing someone to talk to about it. Someone who'd understand. And I could, of course, tell a lot of people. But I really honestly don't see the point. It doesn't interest me. Like how I can't even vaguely remember what it was like to be attracted to a guy. Something I can intellectually understand or examine, but not FEEL myself. Does that mean I want to be the hero, or heroine? Well, it seems unlikely. Given my thoughts on what I Deserve. *sighs* There's no answer, really. Just the endless echo of the blue, my unofficial therapist and friend. 150309 what's it to you? who go blather from