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kingsuperspecial
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rewind: 1991
I swim daily in a barrage of signal and ideas and need that
are all so completely incompatible, desperate, and demanding. I
feel like each day I just have to stare straight ahead and keep
walking, keep walking, onward, ignoring the temptations of the
notions I get. Its a brutish hybrid of sex drive, societal constraints, expectations, promises to myself, anxiety, self image.
Nasty, unhappy, pushy, fucked, greedy things, that all want a
right answer. I just learned how to live with things that are
just and answer, instead of "RIGHT", or "WRONG", or expected.
Just decide, press onward, focus in on small tasks at hand, easy
stuff, like getting out of bed.....
Ten years later, and I get out of bed no problem! Now, about that other stuff...
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020925
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