having_an_anxiety_attack the amy brigade i was, yesterday. i did this project thinger and then it was like bam, i was zooming. November is not my favorite month. it gets better for a few weeks for Christmas and then it just gets bad again till March. hopefully not this year, but, you know, sickness and death and whatever. i try to trick out... sickness it's OK! holy, even. Death, that happens to everybody, right? but then I start making PLANS and bargains for life fulfilling activities, and it's like, woah.... sickness no can do. and death absolutely not. and that's when the anxiety attack (not a panic attack where your heart starts racing, but the zoom in the brain thing) kicks in. i guess i can't make this work!!! damn it all anyway. who cares, right? too bad i don't even like drinking alcohol. maybe i would be able the balm something or other that way. since i don't like it i should just try doing shots.... it really never works out, though. i just sleep.... 081026 ... hsg t_he_ll_of_an_xiety attack has proven preferable to feeling nothing at all. to again fully feelm the trick is to remember_to_forget the nature of your own foreverness. in fun i_t rip alls ... in_fun_it 081026 ... hsg *feel, pardon the, "feelm" 081027 what's it to you? who go blather from