feel_like_this daxle I left for ahwile. I guess I forgot the way I was, the way I really am when I look hard enough to realize. I am scared of life and scared of myself and searching for answers. I am torn between how I feel and how I think I should feel. I should feel like all the people who think life is it's own purpose and that is enough, for that they are satisfied to live. I should believe that things will always get better and all is for the best. I shouldn't think about suicide. It shouldn't even be an option. I should appreciate the people who love me and treat them well. I should try my hardest and feel good about what I've done. I should learn to get along with people and try to cultivate friendships. I should believe stereotypes but deny that I do. I should receive compliments with grace instead of anger and denial. I should not let it show when I feel negatively about people. I should repress my impulses when I know they are wrong. I shouldn't seek an easy escape from my problems. I shouldn't be alone and at home feeling sorry for myself on a friday night. I should eat something and go to sleep because I am hungry and tired. I should do so many things. But i shouldn't feel like this. 000908 what's it to you? who go blather from