grendel after all

"everything happens for a reason"


fuck you.
grendel Q: how many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: The lightbulb has to want to change
misstree someone's got to do it.
high mortality rate, though.
thieums One of my best friend's last name. Funnily enough, he's a very good and wise man. 051005
Risen I used to like it. It was a kind of thrill. Or maybe it was an act.

Playing the villain. I would enjoy the power.

We talk about it in NA. Holding people hostage. Having that control over them.

But I don't find it attractive anymore. Telling someone my secret wasn't about power, or revenge, it was about needing someone to talk to about it. Someone who'd understand.

And I could, of course, tell a lot of people. But I really honestly don't see the point. It doesn't interest me.

Like how I can't even vaguely remember what it was like to be attracted to a guy. Something I can intellectually understand or examine, but not FEEL myself.

Does that mean I want to be the hero, or heroine? Well, it seems unlikely. Given my thoughts on what I Deserve.


There's no answer, really. Just the endless echo of the blue, my unofficial therapist and friend.
what's it to you?
who go