a_better_friend_to_him birdmad once, when he was still a pup, i caught the dog licking and lapping and struggling with something sticky as if he had eated some peanut butter, until he jumped up and tried to lick me and i realized, jumping back at the whiff of what was on his breath, the dumb furry bastard had just munched a fresh gift from the cat's litterbox peanut_butter_is_your_friend and it would have been a bettr friend to him that what he was snacking on at just that moment 030713 ... mon i was dreaming again why all my best and worst dreams are letters and conversations old and new again why you told me i was right when i feel so guilty for not letting go and i remember some things so clearly i imagine i can remember everything if i try, every word spoken, every sigh, the laughter smiles. but the images plastered on the walls of my heart crack fade crackle time harvests the regret that is sown frescos of illumined faces music of forgotten rooms give into nothiness as my breath and heartbeat drone how i would not change the things i would not change how i would not shy and how i would be now the rain that is falling 030713 what's it to you? who go blather from