xenophile amy one who loves other people 000423 ... unhinged she was always looking but couldn't find thought it was going to be this big miracle welcome and soft like angels' wings she thought she wanted it and then it came in a very inconspicous way like the sun coming up normal regular and her heart keeps pushing it away why can't she just let herself be happy? care for those that care first love those that love back relish in the easy but it is a miracle she just can't see it that way right now she lays in her bed crying for the things she's become used to remembering how it felt to be without so much less looking at the scars seeing her life mapped out in darkened cells of torture looking ahead to the inevitable end and seeing so many more added maybe she's just afraid to change for the better 010503 what's it to you? who go blather from