anorexic_fish johnny west A little unfinished song for demented people (and I'm not making fun of anorexia in any way - note the "fish" that comes after it): Anorexic fish Anorexic fish Havin' sex with an anorexic fish Whenever I get lonely I make myself a macaroni Anorexic fish Anoresix fish (And that's all I got! I've been kickin' that around since April of last year, and that's it! Anyone with additional verses or a suitable chorus?) 010311 ... johnny west Typo: "anoresix" should read "anorexic". DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT! 010311 ... dB Mikey, you know what to do. 010311 ... mikey BONK 010311 ... johnny west Perfect! That opened up all of the creative doors/verdanas/french window thingies! All I needed was a good bonk! (giggles with pleasure) 010311 ... nocturnal what's a verdana? hehe 010311 ... johnny west According to SkoffenHooser's Nonsensical Book Of Orthodontist's Terminology: "A 'verdana' is a game of russian roullette taken seven steps too far. Not to be confused with 'banana' or, in cultures lacking teeth, 'manana'." However, upon further inspection, the book reveals further references to "verdana" within the definition of "hot turkey rocket": "Surely, you must be joking! There is no such thing as a 'hot turkey rocket'. It is merely a scapegoat used by 'verdana' to cover up any controversial activities...er...And, furtherfluffball, this book is meant only to fill the heads of all who read it with the feathers of angst-ridden, bed-ridden, overdriven hushpuppies". And that's all the book tells us about "verdana". 010311 ... florescent light Anorexic fish Anorexic fish Spinnin' a pinwheel with an anorexic fish Whenever I get drunk There's lots of throw up Anorexic fish Anorexic fish 010311 ... johnny west There we go! That's a second verse right there! Whaddaya think? Should there be a pre-chorus hook of some sort, or should we move directly into the chorus? 010311 ... mikey i think heroin is bad ummmkay its bad. heroin. IS bad ummmmmkay. 010311 ... johnny west Maybe...something like (in 6/8 time): You got polluted and chewed-on and neutered By a strep-throated catfish with qualms about heroin (UMMMMMMMMMMMMKAY) And the sharks pierced my impotence! Noooooooooooooooooooo! 010311 ... johnny west Anorexic fish Anorexic fish Pickin' up chicks with an anorexic fish Whenever I get to lookin' My rexy fish starts cookin' Yummy spinach pie Really yummy pie 010311 ... mikey and today holding the number 1 slot on the charts is Anorexic fish by Johnny. yes ladies and gents for hours now the audience has been overcome with awe in the face of this new hit single. its quite extraordinary in the modern sense of the word. Anorexic fish . what is this phenomenom? is it simply a creation? or has it always been here? story on page 10. Anorexic fish. the hit. the wonder. what does it mean to you? page 14 Anorexic fish for food make you lose weight! page 3 National Wildlife federation issues decree that all Anorexic fish are now to be sanctioned as an endangered species. page 12. the National Fish Tribune (tm) 010311 ... mikey ...............headlines.........news flash............ this just in. tonight Anorexic fish were seen harassing motorists along highway 5 north. sources say these skinny fish were screaming slander and harsh language as they were crossing into the hills along highway 5 south of San Onofre. sources at the nuclear power plant nearby are on red alert. this has been a breaking news story. we now return to your regularly scheduled program. Channel 11 NEWS special bulletin 010311 ... johnny west Page 11 of the National Fish Tribune An interview explaining the creation of "Anorexic Fish" FISHY REPORTER: So, er, what brought about this song thing? JOHNNY WEST: Well, y'see...there's this place I've been goin'... FISHY REPORTER: You been trippin' on some of the good stuff? JOHNNY WEST: Nah! Had to give it up! I been goin' to this place called blather. People do stuff here that I been dreamin' of since 1904, when good Ol' Papa Staples was singin' like a toothless sheepdog. Yessir, this place is bringin' my creative juices back alive! FISHY REPORTER: And you wrote all this by yussef? JOHNNY WEST: Hell no! Florescent Light contributed the second verse. Mikey provided a much-needed BONK, prompted by dB, as well as some heroin that moved the process right along. And where would I be without Nocturnal? She stood by my Denzel Washington phase, and inspired me with an inquiry regarding my use of "verdana" as a sexual aid. My blather friends been helpin' me all the way! Bless you! Johnny loves you all! FISHY REPORTER: Oh yeah. That's real nice. And now we be goin' to San Onofire to check out some complaints that motorists have been bein' bothered by some of those anorexic fishes! Bless my gills, lord! More on page 14. 010311 ... mikey -the National Fish Tribune- Day 2 of a supposedly terrorist campaign across parts of southern fishmania. the nuclear power plant at San Onofre has been vandalized. reports and pictures show large paintings of the word "blather rules" sprawled across the huge nuclear domes. sources report hearing strange songs in the night the phrase "eat them up YUM" was reportedly heard. things like "i took a fish head out to see a movie but he did not have to pay" were also heard. NASA reports an unusual disturbance in the force. an unnerving messege was deciphered at NASA headquarters. "all your base are belong to us" headlining this messege. front page 1. 010311 ... mikey good lord is it sad im REALLY getting into this? heeehee 010311 ... johnny west - A public service announcement, brought to you by the National Fish Tribune - A history of the anorexic fish, as told by a Swedish Kangaroo. "It all started back in 1978. Fishies were nice and plump, eatin' everything they could spot in that goddam water. Yessir! Some fishies were even known to eat humans! Many a husband went out fishin' and never came home! And not many of their wives could complain. In general, fishy life was good. "Then, in 1979, with 'Roxanne' by The Police ridin' high on the fishy billboard charts, one little fish named Nyatch decided that she didn't wanna be plump and healthy. She wanted to be skinny and suicidal! "So Nyatch stopped eatin' stuff and got REAL fishy skinny. So skinny, in fact, that her gills were showing. No fishy before her had dared show their gills - it was the same as a lady baring her breasts in a public park. All the men fishies were sexually attracted to Nyatch, and she quickly became what is now known as a 'call fish'. "Anorexia took its tole on Nyatch, though. In 1984, as the Police were preparing to disband after their biggest album ('Synchronicity')had blown the fishy billboard charts apart with the single 'Every Breath You Take (Fishy Remix)', Nyatch's gills collapsed. She was a dead 'un." "Now anorexic fish are commonplace. So, unless you been wantin' a toaster to pop ya a new strudel-holder, stay outta there!" 010311 ... johnny west My brain refuses to spit out anything else. I think I've run out of ideas! (removes head and examines brain) Hmmmmm... it appears to be working... lemme just pull out this plastic fork here... (*thwump*) That's better! But I'm still out of ideas. 010311 ... nocturnal okay, yeah. now I really do think you're crazy. mikey too. I'm surrounded by lunatics. 010311 ... johnny west Don't you worry. We're not TOO crazy. Just crazy enough to keep ourselves busy on a Sunday night/Monday morning. Ayuh. 010311 ... mysterious speaking fish head He's only trying to get in touch with Glakmaphobe, the goddess of all things fishy. And, through blathering experimentation, I do believe he is reaching his destination. 010311 ... twiggie this...is...so.....funny.. *giggles uncontrollably* what is wrong with you guys? whatever it is, keep it up and never change. 010312 ... rolypoly i have NEVER been seen drinking cappucino in italian restaurants with oriental women 010312 ... johnny west Thanks twiggie! Insanity flourishes when appreciated. *smiles through piles of fish heads* 010312 what's it to you? who go blather from