anorexia anomalous unhealthy 050428 ... kerry the lack or loss of appetite for food. a general term mistaken for anorexia nervosa, the eating disorder, which is emotional, a form of desire. in the market paloma held a box of animal crackers, gazed at it longingly, and asked me how i've managed to start eating again. we've both wanted to eat, desperately, but medication blocks the way. appetite shrivels up like a dead worm on pavement. "i just forced myself," i told her. "i started moving around more, exercising a bit, and that helped." "you forced it? just made yourself do it?" she looked doubtful. "i had to," i said. i'd wandered the supermarket aisles, trying to remember what i'd once enjoyed, filling my cart, not thinking about nutrition or balance, protein or fiber or fat, just something to put in my stomach. brie on crackers, swiss cheese, lox, peanut butter, eggs, ice cream, salt and vinegar almonds, baguettes, apples, carrots, broccoli, hummus. whole milk. orange juice. now i'm ravenous, i eat whatever whenever, i open the fridge eagerly instead of reluctantly. i have a list of cravings to satisfy, checking them off one by one. but i still haven't found a good buttermilk biscuit or an avocado that isn't rotting from the inside out. i'm searching for creme brulee so i can crack the golden top with my spoon. 220310 what's it to you? who go blather from