i_need_a_purge suicidalchinadoll my existence...when I'm awake lately.. has been in bitterness cold black coffee.. the odd cigar.. dry books.. meaningless sex? ...I've never felt more alive than today when you told me you were disappointed. its been years since someone gave a shit never thought it would be you never you I'm afraid. to be honest I don't really like it. but it gives me focus. at least its not pot this is how i've been justifying it. never to you but to me so I can sleep at night. knowing i'm destroying the one thing that is mine. why do I give a flying fuck what you think? ... *sighs*... I'm sorry I will stop not because of you but I will thank you for a moment of clarity..I just hope I didn't give anything up in order to get it. 041019 what's it to you? who go blather from