vanity_plates
raze IBLEEVE 221029
...
raze XUUS ME 221109
...
kerry BELLA 221109
...
raze NITEBEAT

(a sam cooke fan, i assume) 		221126
...
epitome of incomprehensibility Quebec license plate with TABARNAK. But attached to a cart.

(It's a local swear word. Vanity of regional reference) 		221126
...
raze TALLULAH 221127
...
raze IN DA NAVY 221204
...
raze DONS DJ 221210
...
nr ZUCCHINI 221210
...
raze GON BATTY 221211
...
past on a tesla "THX2ELON"

the question is do we read it sarcastically now? 		221217
...
tender_square RATE ME

driven by a douche cutting across lanes of traffic on tecumseh road. i wanted to give him the finger and say "how's that for a rating?" 		230112
...
tender_square SASSBRAT 230114
...
tender_square CPT REX 230205
...
raze POOH KITY 230223
...
tender_square i burst out laughing when i pulled into kristin's driveway and noticed her license plate for the first time. it read:

GO 2 HELL 		230305
...
raze MATS 7

(the best a linen supply business could do, apparently) 		230310
...
raze GHOST 3D 230313
...
raze 2 AWSOME 230316
...
raze 2L WAGON 230406
...
raze LENSCAT 230418
...
raze HAKE GOLE 230504
...
raze CIAO NOW 230505
...
raze 160 8MM

(someone's either a fan of firearms or shrink fit holders. i'm not sure which.) 		230510
...
raze C MARC 230519
...
raze NEW PAWS 230520
...
raze the roman numeral edition:

XVI XII 		230521
...
raze BABA V 230522
...
raze SOWTPA

(i think someone's left-handed) 		230528
...
tender_square PAPAZORO 230528
...
raze A FAWKES 230529
...
tender_square EUROGUY

(and he was blasting eurotrash techno) 		230602
...
raze GIDDYAP 230608
...
tender_square CELEB BOY 230608
...
raze SCRIGZ 230615
...
raze OHK BUD

(words of comfort, or acknowledgment of a middling batch of marijuana? i'll never know for sure.) 		230616
...
tender_square BCN YAH 230617
...
raze MUSKINJA

(a serbian volleyball player, or a musky-smelling ninja?) 		230620
...
raze 4 WIT 230622
...
mcdougall 3MTA3
Didn’t know about this until I bought a copy of the Beastie Boys’ album License to Ill.

Eatme 		230623
...
tender_square 2 U LYN 230701
...
raze LIL BIT 80 230710
...
raze HAIR DUDE 230711
...
raze AAJ BOL 230712
...
tender_square UBUGA ME

(inaccurate; they were bugging me with their terribly slow maneuvers.) 		230717
...
raze 2 ASCOT 230721
...
raze PIPSTER 230722
...
raze MI 2 GIRLS 230725
...
raze OC NJ 230726
...
raze (i saw the CIAO NOW car again yesterday) 230802
...
raze RHINO 13 230803
...
raze NINSKA 230804
...
raze LAVA 3 230805
...
tender_square GRAMVANI 230808
...
raze BB EIGHT 230810
...
raze YOLO LVIT

("yolo" + "love it"? or did jon lovitz run out of letters for what he wanted to say?) 		230815
...
raze KIMMY 89 230817
...
raze OH SHERRI

(our love holds on) 		230818
...
tender_square FUN4ONCE 230819
...
raze CYA AT X 230820
...
e_o_i 1DESIGN

(sounds like a business name, maybe) 		230820
...
raze SBT 1 230826
...
tender_square MUMAPAPA 230827
...
raze SNOBANKS 230828
...
raze MADRAS 230901
...
raze NOLMITTS 230902
...
raze DRUCILLA 230904
...
raze GOINSTYL 230907
...
raze GREVALII 230908
...
raze 100 SEA 230909
...
tender_square HUNKLRON

(this one kind of gives me the heebs. is this uncle calling himself hunky? are his nieces and nephews? i have so many questions!) 		230911
...
raze ♥ MIKS 230912
...
raze TLYNNZ 230913
...
raze TERESA RN 230914
...
raze PMS 1965 230917
...
raze PRPLADI 230918
...
raze K9Z VET 230920
...
raze MCNORTON 230921
...
raze A JAKE

(as opposed to two) 		230922
...
raze BIG ERR 230923
...
raze SPDRMAN 1 230926
...
raze BARS 54 230927
...
raze SPIT FAN 230928
...
tender_square EXYLR8TN 230930
...
tender_square PRAIRIE 231001
...
raze L E D X 231003
...
raze JEAN JON 231004
...
raze KOEY 231005
...
raze MY JUNIX 231007
...
raze BOM 88 231008
...
raze EST 6166 231009
...
raze SEW AWSM 231016
...
raze RACHITT 231019
...
raze SPENNY VO

(spencer rice is a voiceover artist now?) 		231020
...
raze BLCWIDO 231021
...
raze V3NOM

(seen on an svt cobra driven by a maniac) 		231022
...
raze 2THRACES 231023
...
raze PT LKOUT 231024
...
raze KN CAST 231028
...
raze MURPH 47 231029
...
raze P LLOYD 231101
...
raze LAUR N 231102
...
raze TMM 231103
...
raze EMAILZ 231104
...
raze THE JOEL

(was that billy_joel by any chance?) 		231105
...
raze PPRINCES

(good to see royalty rocking a stutter with no shame) 		231106
...
raze DING BABY 231108
...
raze WHT RBBT

(n pll mks lrgr, nd n pll mks smll) 		231109
...
raze FEREL 231111
...
raze GABIKA 231121
...
raze DR POP CAN

(was this the working title for dr. pepper when the drink was but a carbonated bubble in its creator's eye?) 		231126
...
raze PLK10 231127
...
raze QE SERA 231128
...
raze 2 P I A 231129
...
raze BUCK DOO 231130
...
raze BIG BRR

(maybe this is BIG ERR's less gregarious sibling) 		231201
...
raze FRITZY 123 231202
...
raze CLAY 595 231203
...
raze 5 NIKKI

(i'm guessing 4 NIKKI was already taken) 		231205
...
raze VEKARIYA 231206
...
raze 3 FLLES 231209
...
raze K BELLAA 231210
...
raze THE DAWG 231216
...
raze these two were right next to each other at a red light today:

CONNY 3
BEES 633

(that's a whole lot of bees, and not a lot of people named conny) 		231221
...
raze FATHOM 1 231222
...
raze HUNT LAW 231223
...
raze SYBREN

(three guesses who that one belongs to) 		231224
...
raze WHITSON 231225
...
raze SREDJANI 231228
...
raze ANNIE F 231229
...
raze VANESZ 240101
...
raze KIDDO 240102
...
raze MR CD

(good to see someone out there still appreciates physical media) 		240103
...
raze ESCAPE 1 240104
...
raze FT RSQ 2

(sequel to the first foot rescue mission, then?) 		240105
...
raze JESTRY 240106
...
raze SISBOM 240107
...
raze JK FRITZ 240108
...
raze GRINCH 3 240109
...
raze SNUGGLES

(the license plate that hugs you) 		240110
...
raze BMMR 911

(surely you can do better than "bummer" for a preamble when calling in an emergency) 		240113
...
raze HANSON 28 240115
...
raze CHARISSE 240131
...
raze SH8Y LADY 240201
...
raze SIX FT2 240202
...
raze DANNY N 240204
...
raze GRINCH 1

(i guess there must be a second grinch out there somewhere. i wonder how many siblings there are.) 		240205
...
raze LEONELLA 240207
...
raze COLLINS 240208
...
raze RN CACHOO

(another registered nurse; this one has a case of the sneezes) 		240211
...
raze MOODYBLZ 240212
...
raze ZNGARA 240213
...
raze EST BBEE 240214
...
raze RAJESH B 240215
...
raze STOBBS 240221
...
raze AUTISI 240229
...
raze 4 LDYBG 240302
...
raze JUNE 2025

(there's a first: a license plate from the future) 		240305
...
raze 4 DAD N SIS 240307
...
raze honest to god (though that guy doesn't deserve anything from me at this point), i saw one yesterday that said:

SQURRLS 		240318
...
raze LUV CORGI 240319
...
raze J CROOK

(remind me not to invite that guy over for dinner) 		240322
...
Soma EUNIQ

(unsure if it's meant to be eunich or unique) 		240323
...
raze I AM TWO

(to be able to reach the pedals at such a young age ... that's some impressive shit right there) 		240324
...
raze LINCOLN 4

(any relation to abe?) 		240325
...
raze JEF LOW 240326
...
raze M NIKI 240327
...
raze SC RLST8 240328
...
raze JUN3 BUGG 240329
...
raze I HUEY

(nice to meet you, huey. i johnny.) 		240330
...
raze SPADA 007

(this is what happens when you make james bond an italian swordsman) 		240331
...
raze CAYEN 1 240401
...
raze HEY MOE 240403
...
raze TUFF MUF 240404
...
raze FINS FUR 240405
...
raze ROSCOE P 240406
...
raze PUSHIN2 240410
...
raze K BESTA 240415
...
raze TROPAIA 240417
...
raze RACHIIT 240418
...
raze Y 3 SONS

(because the first two needed a friend?) 		240421
...
raze 4 ND 4

(that would be 8) 		240422
...
raze MEEKA 240423
...
raze BIG SKIER

(it ain't quite the season for that anymore around here, but then again, you never know with windsor weather) 		240424
...
raze JATVOLIM 240425
...
raze 2 GRAMPS 240501
...
raze LSHORE

(a lakeshore resident, i'm guessing) 		240502
...
raze T O T L 240503
...
raze TENKULO 240504
...
raze GR8DAYNE 240507
...
raze RIXARD

(is that a moderately straightedge richard?) 		240508
...
raze GILYBEAN 240521
...
e_o_i On Sunday, I pointed out one to my parents that said SUMMER. "But what will they do the other seasons?" I was childishly concerned about this (for about three seconds).

Another one on a surfer-vibey vehicle: BEACHN. 		240521
...
raze PETEY 1

(where my other peteys at?) 		240523
...
raze BOSSPREV

(someone's previous boss?) 		240524
...
nr YEAH BOI 240525
...
raze i thought i saw one that said "EZ N1", but it was just the fading of random letters and numbers that tricked me into thinking they were vain. 240528
...
raze KAMATHS 240529
...
raze D GIRL USA 240530
...
raze RYALLDUP 240602
...
nr MAD4SURE 240602
...
raze STACI B 240603
...
raze LUNA BLU3 240607
...
raze HEY JO

(any relation to moe?) 		240608
...
raze KIWI CUTY 240612
...
raze LOGEE 44 240622
...
raze 4U LEEN 240701
...
raze CRAF LADY

(someone seems to be missing a t) 		240703
...
raze AKSHUN 240705
...
raze MIG XPERT 240706
...
raze NAHRINA 240707
...
raze 4 NEW FE 240709
...
raze DUCDEE

(a duck-themed remake of "crocodile dundee"?) 		240710
...
raze ANNETOZ 240712
...
raze KAR NOT

(it was a jeep, not a car, so the license plate checked out) 		240719
...
raze FLOSS ME

(i guess this means teeth can drive cars now) 		240725
...
raze MACK MADI 240726
...
raze NICK TE 240727
...
raze LOV2READ

(you too, huh?) 		240729
...
raze G LAXMI

(she likes me!) 		240731
...
raze DORF 1 240801
...
raze PRADHAM7 240802
...
raze MKGUYVER

(the original series, not the reboot, i hope) 		240804
...
raze MORINGO 240807
...
e_o_i In the GO/VIA parking lot in Oshawa:

AUDACIA - the country where Audacity is the capital

DAS FMLY - Okay, that's "the family" with a German flourish. Thing is, it should be "die" for "Familie," to be pronounced "dee family," except DIE FMLY might send the wrong message. 		240807
...
raze STYL3S 240809
...
raze JO PEET 240810
...
raze MUM 257 240811
...
raze DDMT 240812
...
raze OHINOSA

(do you really?) 		240816
...
raze KRBARE 240817
...
raze TENTSHN 240818
...
raze BYBLOS 240819
...
raze ♥ M LUV 240820
...
Soma IOWNU

(This one made me concerned and sad) 		240820
...
raze RAJ GURU 240821
...
raze KEEP UP EH 240822
...
raze MR LUTHOR 240823
...
raze a first-generation plymouth road runner had plates that said:

B BEEPP

"very clever," i thought. 		240825
...
raze VE3TMU 240826
...
raze KEYMAKER 240830
...
raze 5 RED JANI 240831
...
raze GRNDHGY

(either someone's been getting friendly with the ground, or they're feeling like a woodchuck) 		240901
...
e_o_i I don't see as many of these around here because they were only recently allowed in Quebec and I think there's a six-character limit, but today I saw

MAZEL

(if it's a word and not a name, it's "luck" in Yiddish - although "mazel tov" is more like "congratulations") 		240901
...
e_o_i (The TABARNAK one up top was an exception to the six-character rule because it wasn't an actual vehicle license. Also, I don't think you can put swear words in them. "Ta-bar-NAK!" is the kind of thing you'd say in the tone of "Holy SHIT!" - anger and surprise, angry surprise.) 240901
...
raze REMARC 240902
...
raze HELI DR 240903
...
raze B♭

(minor or major?) 		240905
...
raze MAMA MIA 240909
...
nr WOW SEXY

(and i could've sworn it winked at me) 		240914
...
raze RIGNEY 240915
...
raze K57 ELVIS 240916
...
raze VW 14

(you mean to tell me that was only the fourteenth volkswagen ever made?) 		240917
...
e_o_i Yesterday I saw a fairly common name - FATIMA, I think.

So someone must have been quick in asking the license plate bureau for it (I'm assuming it's one-per-province for each customized plate, but what do I know). 		240917
...
raze PRTHOODD

(i guess PRNTHOOD was taken) 		240918
...
raze DANNY W

(any relation to DANNY N?) 		240923
...
raze GET R GOIN 240927
...
raze BOSTON 49 240928
...
nr SR AGENT 240928
...
raze CAFE TORY 240929
...
raze 37 PAKARD 240930
...
raze MAT 142 241005
...
raze NI EVE 241008
...
raze TREQQI

(the question is: kirk or picard?) 		241011
...
raze GENE 3 241013
...
raze i saw the GRAMVANI one myself the other day, but to my eyes the I looked more like a 1. 241014
...
raze GEO MEL

(sounds like a futuristic sandwich, or maybe just someone with two first names) 		241020
...
raze NEW EWE

(that has to be one of the best i've seen so far) 		241025
...
raze HABS PHAN 241026
...
raze BETINHA 241027
...
warmthofrelease "3 OF A PP"

Ummm... siblings? 		241028
...
raze DUGS L8

(that dude is never on time) 		241029
...
raze AH2RETA 241030
...
raze ROSIE KT 241031
...
raze HPY RLTOR 241101
...
raze RAMRAM5 241106
...
raze HYTT 241107
...
raze ZEINA 2

(imagine this person's surprise when they discovered there was another zeina who got there first) 		241108
...
warmthofrelease WRSHIP

I am choosing to interpret that the missing character is an a, not an o. 		241110
...
raze A JAROS 241112
...
raze TOUNN 241115
...
raze HAPPY T 241116
...
raze R JIM LAD 241117
...
raze GERRARD 241118
...
raze BIG DOG 25 241120
...
raze MAX N ROME 241121
...
raze PA ARCH 241122
...
raze EH LUKE 241125
...
raze FR MATT

(i'm thinking matt is either french, "for real", or a catholic priest) 		241129
...
raze KITMO 241201
...
raze TALL 160 241202
...
raze GNOME T 241203
...
raze MELOCHE 241204
...
raze BASRA8 241206
...
raze GRUNGY 241210
...
raze MR OYO 26 241211
...
raze TRAN 17

(someone who works in transit, i'm guessing) 		241212
...
raze MONS 83M 241213
...
raze DAGAR 01

(i don't think that's how "dagger" is meant to be spelled, but you do you) 		241225
...
raze ALPHORN 241226
...
raze BKSPRUCE 241227
...
raze DEH TRIPR

(someone found a good reason for taking the easy whey out) 		241228
...
raze POTE 09 241229
...
raze TEAM 8888 250111
...
raze NRTHRAWN

(i have no idea what this one's supposed to mean) 		250219
...
raze i saw one in a dream that said SMOCKE1. in the backlite of the same car was a sign that said SANDWICHES ME. i wanted to ask the vehicle's owner what those two things meant, but i_woke_up before that could happen. 250316
...
raze O NO DR BIL 250321
...
raze LVL 1 BARD

(that has to be the best one i've seen in a while) 		250417
...
raze CRZY GRAM 250418
...
raze PAY BAK 250419
...
raze I HEAR 1 250530
...
raze BEGUILED

(this one came attached to a very ugly porsche) 		250531
...
raze 51 BIG RED

(my blathernym ten_years from now?) 		250601
...
raze FSHRMAN 250723
...
raze KISHAANT 250730
...
raze PAMEE J 250812
...
raze this one also came from a dream:

A BLAMED CAR 		250813
...
raze NAHATA 250816
...
ovenbird On a car with a pink holographic paint job:

SHRIMP 		250820
...
raze THE RAMAN 250826
...
nr CYAN 847

(guess it'll take awhile before we're at the M, Y, or K's) 		250828
...
raze another one a dream gave me:

JOCY 		250907
...
raze TINK V 250909
...
nr DRUMMIN

(i wonder if that person knows the owner of the RLRR LRLL plate i saw years ago.) 		250916
...
raze BY JK 650 251021
...
raze KARPEH DM 251202
...
raze WT KNOTT 251218
...
raze yet another one that came from a dream, though this one was completely impossible:

LEO FOUCKE HITS ROCKS 		260104
...
ancasa.reyn my mom's brother
tells the story
of his father
my grandfather
who had vanity plates

rj44

his initials
plus the year
he regained his
drivers license
after having it
taken away
likely for
drunk driving

rj lived in manhattan
and the story goes
that one day
while stopped
at a red light
someone came up
to his window
and asked him
if he could buy
the rights
to rj44

that someone
was reggie jackson
number 44
of the
new york yankees

he was refused 		260123
what's it to you?
who go 		blather
from