jon Katie Rose I love you! 010927 ... unhinged i hate you well not really, but since we will probably never speak to each other again it doesn't do any good to have any kind of feelings for you either way 010927 ... psychobabe you are a fucking ass you know that? everyday i see you, no hurt, no anguish no remorse. The fact that i see you tho is a weak and pathetic thing. Being over you has passed, the whole childish stage you kept us at. You cant fucking get it through your head either that i am a person just as much as you fucking are can you!? "you are like no other girl i know, they all tell me what they wanna do and what they want but you dont say anything, you only say whatever makes you happy" is what you fucking said. GOD YOUR AN ASS! I thought things could work, maybe i could change myself to see if you'd like me then, Damn i was wrong. Fucking wrong like i've somehow always been with you. And now its over, i'm past the feeling that i felt for you such awhile ago and i have moved. It seems you havent tho. You sit there, you look at me dont think i dont notice from the corner of my eye. You say things to your friends that you like me but fucking i could care less now. I've given up on you and its through. That fact tho that i'm happy now seems to be makeing you miserable which i could fucking care less about 011213 ... kill rhythm sometimes i wish i could lose you again... i dont even know what to think about you. i still, and probably always will, love you with all my heart. but everytime i look at you, i know youve already been with someone else. it hasnt even been three fucking weeks and you've already kissed her. this makes me want to go out and piss you off so bad, that you would cut off all contact with me. but i love you too much to do that. if love always wins in the end, then why am i hurting so bad? and if you really loved me, then why would you hurt me like this? 020502 ... kill rhythm i plan to collapse and forget this wasted year 020502 ... spoons is a nice boy he hates his name he thinks it should have an H in it but his name is really jonathon... he hates anything thats out of the ordinary like his family his older brother is handicapped because when he was born he was allergic to everything and suffered brain damage his younger brother was born with a muscular disorder so he is dependent on everyone no one ever really paid much attention to him because he was "normal" and could take care of himself no one cared that when he was four he mastered every nintendo game he had with the controller upside down no one cared that in his 7th grade year he beat the senior captain of the wrestling team in wrestling tryouts no one ever really cared about what he did but everyone seemed to "care" when he only dressed in black, spiked jewelry, wore a trench coat and asked for a gun for christmas... 020618 ... raze i always got the feeling there was something volatile in him that might boil over at any moment, but i only ever saw him implode, and the only violence to come out of it was accidental. one night at a friend's house he went through someone's closet and swaddled a boombox in sweatshirts. he was convinced aliens were spying on him through the stereo's circuitry. he thought cotton was the remedy. he wasn't high on anything. just drunk. he stole a bottle of wine that was meant to be a birthday present for someone else and took off. later that night they found him standing around outside, talking to himself, the bottle in pieces on the ground around his feet, broken and drained before he could drink a drop of it. he was the kind of guy who would call one of my friends and leave a message threatening to kill him for no apparent reason. almost gave his mother a heart attack. they stayed friends. he wanted to be al pacino in "scarface". he gave me one of his grandfather's painkillers once, just for something to do. he had that "friendly but never to be trusted" thing going on. i got it in my head that someone stabbed him to give his movie an early ending. he didn't get stabbed. he overdosed. i don't know how many years ago it happened now. 140429 what's it to you? who go blather from